Sleep

This one, so required,
Seems to eternally evade
My company,
Spending its longer moments
With others, thus avoiding
Me.
As the world relishes in
Its presence
I continue the
Ever swirling
Downspire,
And lose what
Control
I might have ever
Possessed.

Liberate

freedom,
it exists, only in the mind,
for to be truly free
is only a dream,
and i keep waking
up.

33?

Hands full of nothing
Pockets full of empty
Stagnant thoughts
Impure heart
Decisions awaiting
Shrouded in confusion
Apathy abounding.

inmate

imprisoned in this cage called
life,
awaiting to be
fed.

Recovery Update

Forgive me for not adding sooner than I have, but limited to using my left hand when I'm right handed makes this a real chore.

I had a follow up appointment with Dr Kollias yesterday and found out that I had a complete rotator cuff tear and not a partial. The entire tendon was torn.

The doctor removed the dressing, all five incisions are healing nicely, the stitches have been absorbed and there is still some minor swelling. I will be in my sling until April 13th which is the date of my first physical therapy appointment. Five days after that, April 18th, I will return to work with restrictions until July 2nd, when I should be able to return to full duty.

I am continuing with home therapy three times daily and had my exercises increased as well. The doctor is real pleased with my progress in this area, too.

I'm still sleeping sitting in the recliner, which sucks, but trying to lie down is much too painful.

Boredom increases with each passing day.

Peggy continues to be a wonderful and patient nurse but I'm sure I'm testing that patience.

I hate being such a burden.

That's all for now.

My thanks to you all for the personal inquiries and the words of encouragement so many of you have been sending. I cherish each one of those messages and they do indeed help in the healing process.

Thanks for not forgetting about me.

Each one of you mean the world to me and I appreciate your thoughts, prayers and support.

Until next time!

devotion

thousands of miles apart,
yet when I screamed into the
night,
somehow you heard me
and came running...

AHS 3/17/2011

A few shots of what the former Arlington High School looked like at the end of the contractors workday on St Patricks Day. This not only kills my spirit but it makes me feel physically ill. Weather permitting, more shots to follow in the days to come.

AHS

This is a tough week. Not only am I still healing from shoulder surgery, not only has someone who disappeared from our lives 6 years ago been trying to reenter, but the school I lived next to for the first 18 years of my life and that I attended until I was a sophomore is being demolished.

In my present one armed state, I haven't been able to take any pictures...yet.

I'm hoping to rectify that tomorrow.

I feel like a part of me is dying right now.

Cure

Life is pain
Pain is life
You live in pain
Throughout your life.
Death relieves pain,
Forever...

And Now

After all these years
All these long years,
You seem to think that you can
Jump
Right back in the seat
You used to ride in.

I don't think so...

Battle Weary

Pain is time,
Time is pain.
There's too much time
There's too much pain.

As years go by
Pain seems to increase
Time moves more slowly
Pain feels like a disease.

I close my eyes
To shield the pain
Yet as times creeps by
There the pain is again.

So I wait and I try
To live thru the pain
And hope that I win
This war with time again.

After The Fun

Surgery was a success, the tear was twice as big as the MRI showed. I'm in a lot of pain but getting it under control. Doing 7 sets of exercises 3 times a day and go back to see the surgeon on St Patricks Day.

These pictures show me before surgery, after surgery and mugging for the camera.

I'll be posting as soon as the pain level goes down some.

13 Hours And Counting

Well, in 13 hours I will be undergoing my surgery to repair a torn right rotator cuff. Having had shoulder surgery nearly 11 years ago, I have to say this is NOT something I am looking forward to, but I realize it is something that needs to be done.

I'm not sure what to expect, because a lot of advances have been made, I'm sure, with this type of surgery. However, I am also eleven years older than I was the last time I went thru something similar to this. I'm not sure how my body is going to handle the pain factor this time, but I guess we'll find out soon enough.

With that being said, I'm not sure when I'll be posting again. I'm right hand dominant, so even though I remember typing with one hand 11 years ago, I'm not sure how my left hand will handle that task. Therefore, you may not be seeing any posts from me for a while.

I hope that's not the case.

I do ask, if you are a praying person, to please say an extra prayer for me the next time you and the Lord talk. I need all the help I can get.

Thanks for your thoughts, your positive energy and thanks for hanging in there with me while I get thru this.

Peace to you all!