Broken Dreams

It's funny, but before I had a computer, I used to do a lot of writing on scraps of paper or single sheets of paper, fold them up and put them somewhere, and eventually I come across some of those things when I'm cleaning or looking for something else.

This folded up piece of paper was found by me about ten minutes ago as I was doing some fall cleaning here in my den. Wow, it's from 21 years and 2 days ago, and it was written shortly after our son decided he was too grown up for us anymore and he had moved out to be on his own, and suffice to say, it was not a popular move or one that his mother or myself ever really understood or got over.

Funny, things haven't seemed to change all that much where he is concerned, even to this day. He lives his own life with no contact with us, and he keeps his sons away from us by his choice as well.

I used to wonder what I had done wrong, but now, I realize, that it wasn't anything my wife or I had done, but it was his selfishness and his lack of love and respect for us. Funny how selfishness can take away so much from one's life.

I hold no hope for him to ever change, hell, he's going to be 40 years old on his next birthday. Selfishness and self-centeredness is much like a terminal disease, and in most cases an incurable one as well.

I can't help but wonder if he ever stops and realizes what he has not only taken away from himself but what he has deprived my grandsons of having. Somehow I doubt that is the case.

Anyway, like I said, this poem captures feelings I had over 21 years ago, and I decided to post it here so I can throw the original writing of it away in the trash, kind of like our son threw our lives away into the trash all those years ago.


Broken Dreams (written November 15, 1991)

For eighteen years he gave me reason
To get up and face each day.
But now my incentive to live my life full
Has packed up and moved away.

It's not just the fact that he's moved away
That is hurting myself and my wife,
But for some unknown reason we don't understand
We're no longer a part of his life.

Now I know we aren't perfect as all parents aren't,
Although I thought we were better than most.
And that special closeness I thought we all shared,
I imagined it all, I suppose.

I mean what do you say to a son that you love
Probably more than your own life itself?
You can't say, "You'll live here and do as I say,
And damnit, you'll love us or else."

I just hope he realizes we'll always be here
And stand behind him thru good times and bad.
And we're not the bad montsters he thinks that we are,
We're just simply, his Mom and his Dad.

Four More Years

Thankfully, and almost mercifully, the election is over and life can resume in a somewhat state of normalcy.

President Obama and Vice President Biden are secure in their jobs in the White House for four more years, and hopefully Congress can finally put aside political differences and platforms and put the interests and the well being of our nation first and foremost.

Most refreshing will be the absence of political advertisements on television and now we can see more of the things we're used to seeing: Ads for new gimmicks sold "only on tv," viagra and cialis ads, Flo prostituting for insurance and the fabulous Brookfield Lantern, just to name a few.

Congratulations to all the winners and to those who lost graciously. Ladies and gentlemen, you've got a lot of work to do in the next few years. Here's hoping you put America's best interests ahead of you.

Let the games begin!

Regarding Election Day 2012

I'm not going to post anything anyone can perceive to be political, because quite frankly, I don't think political postings are necessary, mainly because you aren't going to influence or change anyones' mind with what you think is necessary to post. What I am going to post about tomorrow's election is simply this:

I don't care who you vote for, I don't care what party you vote for or what candid
ate you vote for. What I do care about is that you simply go exercise your American voice and go vote! Follow what is in your heart, follow what is in your mind, and do so when you pull that lever, punch that button or mark your selection on your ballot. Let your voice be heard and be happy in your heart and mind that you took a few moments to vote for who you think is the right candidate.

No one party has all the right candidates, no one person can change anything by themselves, but you can make a difference when you take the time to vote.


Thanks to you all, and thanks for voting.

The future of our nation is at stake.

Let your voice be heard!

VOTE!!!

DST Fallback

Once again it's time to fall back with the clocks as DST 2012 comes along.

To some of my Faithful Few, this is old news. To those of my Faithful Few that are here in Indiana, it's been a lot of years for us as we have on been back on Daylight Savings Time a few short years now.

Personally, I love it!

Those extra hours of daylight in the summer are most welcome.

Of course, we have those rocket scientists that have since discovered that they don't like it, and they have decided that they might like it if Indiana moves to the Central Time Zone, which, in vast Indiana thinking, is another step backwards. However, they have figured out they can have their daylight hours rearranged back, even with DST, if Indiana steps back to the 20th Century again and moves to the CTZ.

Again, we get to take a giant leap forward and people are then ready to take 3 steps back. And people wonder why Indiana seems to never get ahead.

Regardless of how you feel about it or where you are this weekend, if you are on DST, don't forget to move your clocks back prior to 2AM Sunday, when it will magically become 1AM Sunday.

Seriously, how damned much energy is there to setting a few clocks back, people?

eyes

what he sees
he sees with his heart
he feels it in his soul
and it remains held within
him
never leaving him
never failing him
never departing his grasp
as within himself
his internal eyes
open
and he truly
sees

Loving The New Life

Since I retired, life has been so nice, with no set schedule and no work related responsibilities. The only schedule that has really hand any bindings on me has been Peggy's schedule.

Now, with her new job, getting off work earlier, no weekend work and a day off during the week every other week, we have even more time now to do things together that we didn't used to get to do.

A couple of days ago, on a whim, we got up at 5AM, showered and dressed and hit the road and drove an hour and half to go to breakfast. Now I know that probably sounds crazy, but each year when we go for our anniversary trip to Clifty Falls during the month of February, we enjoy the breakfast buffet at the Inn's Falls Restaurant. So, we made the drive down in the dark, sat at a table by the windows overlooking the Ohio River, and ate breakfast and watched sun come up. And we didn't have to wait until our February vacation to enjoy this!

Getting to spend that quality time together is a gift from God, and I so thank Him for it. Our waitress told us how great it was to see us, which made both of us feel exceptional.

While we were there, Peggy walks up to the check in desk and makes reservations to go back down for two nights in December, and not on a weekend, but during the week when it coincides with more time off from her new job.

We had a great day Thursday, driving home back roads, enjoying the fall colors which were actually brighter than I expected them to be after the terrible drought we had this summer. We got home mid afternoon, changed clothes and went out and raked and mulched leaves together, mowed the yard, put up the majority of the lawn furniture and prepared for the upcoming winter.

Now with the weekend here, we have another couple of days to enjoy together before Peggy heads back to work on Monday, at a new job that she totally loves.

God continues blessing us each day.

I am totally loving this new life together with the lady of my dreams.

Summer Concert Series Wrap Up Celebration

After our most successful season of concerts yet, the Riverside Park Organizing Committee travelled about an hour's drive away to Camp Atterbury and wrapped out the season with a weekend visit and couple of nights' stay in cabins on the post.

A group of fifteen participated in a fun filled weekend and pitch in dinner Saturday in an effort to close out our season of hard work with a getaway free from the responsiblities we usually each handle on a concert weekend.

After a deluge of rain on Friday evening, the sun came out Saturday morning and Mother Nature provided us with an absolutely awesome Saturday and Sunday, full of fellowship and great food, a chance to visit and talk about things other than the concerts and share a few drinks around the firepit.

As we broke up the party on Sunday morning, Peggy and I drove nearly four miles away and spent the night at the Hampton Inn in Taylorsville and enjoyed an afternoon and evening away from our responsibilities at home and kicked back at the Inn and had a super steak dinner at Ruby Tuesdays.

With the wrap up party, we closed out the 2012 concert season and set our sights on beginning to put together the Riverside Park Live At The Levee Series for 2013.

Looking forward to it, too!!!

same old song

head hanging
empty shell of existence
wallowing down
suffering but
relishing
and enjoying
the self imposed sentence
of a meaningless moment
and of
relative unimportance
savoring the suffering
enjoying the pain
clouding out reality
and those things that matter
all because
the world hasn't suffered enough
for the actions
of a fool
drawing attention
to prove
how unworthy

One Year Ago

Hard as it is for me to comprehend, one year ago today I hit the timeclock for the final time and ended my career at the Rushville Post Office at 32 years and 10 months.

The last year has not gone quite the way I had expected it to, with Peggy's Dad having had a stroke and less than a week later Peggy's Mom breaking her leg.

The past year didn't go quite the way we thought it would, and when Peggy started her two week vacation this past Monday, who would have believed that she would get a call that first morning letting her know that she had gotten the nod for a new job.

After nearly 13 years in the banking industry, Peggy closed out her days at MainSource bank and embarked on a new career with the County Clerk's Office at the courthouse. Therefore, her two week vacation lasted an entire day.

Even though our plans changed for the two weeks she would have been off, we consider the new job a total and complete blessing. No more workdays until after 4PM, no more irregular schedule week to week and no more weekends!

Peggy now has a regular schedule each and everyday, her workday ends at 4PM and she pulls no more Saturdays.

Better money, better hours, better benefits.

What an awesome God we have indeed!

Autumn Vacation

Hard to imagine but it's the first day of fall, or more properly, Autumn.

My absolute favorite time of year, and the month of October is my favorite month of the year without question.

Looking ahead to the next couple of weeks that my darling bride has off brings all sorts of posibilities to mind as to what we should do. Peggy is wanting to make a trip east to the mountains of Virginia, which are my most favorite mountains I have ever had the pleasure of seeing. Of course, if we make that trip, we will swing by her sister's house for a visit. I think this is the trip Peggy wants to make more than any other one.

There's a chance we might venture down to the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee and North Carolina. Beautiful scenery and about half the driving time to Gatlinburg make this one more attractive to me, but then again we could combine the two trips into one and go to Virginia and then get on the Blue Ridge Parkway and drive to Cherokee, NC and head back up thru Tennessee.

We could also make a trip up to Sybaris, a romantic getaway I never, ever get tired of going to. Closing the door to that suite, in its own building, makes the outside world go away and allows us to have a 17 hour romantic interlude where the world ceases to exist around us, and it's all about just the two of us, intimate and unbridled, and a chance to just spend quality time with each other with no phone, no television and our own spa, swimming pool and steam bath. Best of all, Sybaris is only a short drive from here, maybe 60 miles total. A Longhorn Steakhouse sits right down the road about two blocks, and it's a great way to escape and simply fall into each others' love all over again.

It's hard to imagine, but in eight days I will have been retired for one full year. It's so nice to be able to enjoy each day now, free of the bonds of employment.

And another fabulous and carefree vacation and month of October lies ahead of us.

I can't conceive how anyone could not enjoy this time of year, this time of renewal in the seasons and the awesome colors God uses to paint his majestic background each year for us.

So, now to decide, Virginia, Tennessee or Sybaris.

Shame I'm not independently wealthy. We could do all three.

Besides, I don't need a romantic getaway to be able to fall into the love I have for my darling wife. I could do that anywhere.

The Dreaded Two Little Snakes Story

I don't remember where I first heard this, but for over 35 years I have been reciting it, time after time, and truthfully, I do it a lot better if I'd had a whole bunch to drink before I try it.

If you don't think it's that big of a deal, try and remember, I have always done this from memory and never used anything written down to do it.

Try reading it out loud as you read it and you will see how funny it actually is and you will probably also discover that it's really not that easy to read out loud.


The Two Little Snakes

Two little snakes were hissing in their pit. Their mother came out and asked them, “What are you two little snakes doing?” To which they replied, “We’re hissing in our pit.” The mama snake told them, “Well don’t hiss in our pit, go over to Mrs Potts’ house, get in her pit, and hiss in it.” So, the two little snakes went over to Mrs Potts’ house, got in her pit, and began to hiss in it. Soon, Mrs Potts came out and asked, “What are you two little snakes doing?” And they answered her and said, “We’re hissing in your pit.” Mrs Potts asked them, “Why are you hissing in my pit? You got your own pit to hiss in, so go on home, get in your own pit, and hiss in it.” So, the two little snakes went back to their home, got in their pit, and began to hiss in it. Very shortly, Mama Snake came back out and asked the two little snakes, “What are you two little snakes doing?” And they replied, “We’re hissing in our pit!” Mama Snake told them, “I told you two little snakes not to hiss in our pit, but to go over to Mrs Potts’ house, get in her pit and hiss in it.” To which the two little snakes replied, “We did, we went over to Mrs Potts’ house, we got in her pit, and hissed in it, and Mrs Potts came out and asked us, ‘What are you two little snakes doing?’ and we told her ‘We’re hissing in your pit.’ Then she told us, ‘You don’t need to hiss in my pit, you got your own pit to hiss in, so go on home, and hiss in it.’ So we came home, we got in our pit, and we started hissing in it.” To which the Mama Snake replied, “Well if that don’t beat all. I remember Mrs Potts when she didn’t have a pit to hiss in.”

For The 18th Time

Last night, at Klipsch Music Center in Noblesville/Indianapolis, I had the distinct pleasure of attending my 18th KISS concert, which delivered everything a KISS concert usually does, which is an awesome dose of rock and adrenalin!

After a fifteen minute delay due to storms in the area(and by the way, it never rained) a group from Cambridge, England called The Treatment took to the stage for a half hour set. Not too shabby of a band, who to me, seemed to have a bit of a punk sound but really delivered a good set.

Motley Crue was next, who played a full 90 minute set. They delivered a power punch to set the tone for the rest of the evening, including Tommy Lee on a circular traveling drum set that totally went upside down several times while the drummer played his butt off! Add to that lots of flames, lasers and dry ice fog plus the occasional bomb going off, and you got a good idea of what Crue was like.

Then, about 10:10PM, the masters of the ultimate rock show took to the stage and delivered their 90 minute set as only KISS can, belting out hit after hit, including a new tune from their new album "Monster" that is slated to be released this October. And of course, pyro shooting guitars, bombs, huge flames, a fire breathing and blood spitting Gene Simmons and a totally insane show of high energy rock brought the evening to a crescendo just past 11:35PM last night.

The house was packed, the lawn was full and the rains stayed away as the rock and roll vortex kept all the clouds moving away for the evening!

The picture shows just how packed Klipsch was last night, proving that even after nearly 40 years in the business, KISS are still the masters!

Crossing

As you cross over those bridges
In your life,
Turn around,
Set fire to each one
And constantly move forward
And never look back.
The bridge is gone forever
And there's no reason
To try going back now,
Because the way is gone
And the path shall never be
Again.

Uriah Heep - Circle Of Hands - it was the year 1973 - Music high quali...

I have been a fan of Uriah Heep almost since the group's inception back all those decades ago.  This band, one of the relative few who have been able to pull it off, have only gotten better as the years have gone by. 

This is one of my favorite tunes by them, and within this song lies one of my most favorite lyrics:  "And today is only yesterday's tomorrow..."

How profound is that?

Hope you take a few moments and give "Circle Of Hands" by Uriah Heep a listen.

Epic

His journey came in parts
With turmoiled emotions
Broken hearts
He wandered out
With no clear heading
He traversed the lands
Using Mother Earth
As his bedding
His emotions ran wild
His heart ran free
He took no notice
Of you or of me
His journey started with but a single step
This is his story
Listen closely with respect.


It seemed at times, he had walked forever
The shoes on his feet, became worn out leather
He left the land he knew so well
And ventured into these wastelands he now thought of as hell
He had loosed the ball and chain that bound him
And the wearing elements of this vast land had now found him.
He bled and he sweat he hungered, he thirsted
His body fairly screamed and his head nearly burst
Yet onward he trudged
Lest a failure he be judged.


When his time had come and he felt dejected
Westward he headed as his life he rejected
A source lie ahead that he was sure would fill his heart
Of the love that he needed so he decided to depart
Yet once he was there he found not what he was seeking
Instead, what he found he dared not to be keeping
So he endured those few days which seemed an eternity
This place he had first journeyed offered nothing of serenity
He sought his escape, he sought his release
He ventured away and held onto his peace.


Out of the mist and swirling haze
He saw the road was harsh and pitted
Yet he took the first step and onward he trudged
For to his journey he remained committed.

He recalled years ago when he first touched the sound
Of the music in his heart
And the symphony in his soul
He longed to recapture that music again
With a new writing partner
He thought that he knew.

It was then he discovered the lies he'd been told.


As the blind symphony played on, the song remained the same
A new character came into being and she began to play the game
A new circle
A new break
Inuendos
A classic take
On the life that was promised
Of the truth that endured
To encompass her love
Caused his life to become impure.

His thoughts swirled about him
With each step that he took
Yet he failed to glance over his shoulder
At that which he overlooked.
His life became her game
He himself became a pawn
In the sunset of his evening
He was becoming her new dawn.



Down, down
Down
He fell
As feet began to fail him
He fought for purchase
Yet he found none ahead
As he landed in the darkness
His thoughts swirled out
And screamed.


"I want so much to just walk away
Escape the madness and skip the game
But forward I go and onward I trudge
As you decide to be my judge.

"I look for answers and I look for smiles
As I travel these many rugged miles.
Yet what I have found is simply nothing more
Than confusion and hurt, both of which I deplore.

"This decision I made was unwise and wrong
This journey I've made was tedious and long
Yet no new answers and no happiness ahead
I'd been better off had I only dropped dead.

"I discovered too late the two faces she wore
And the life that she promised was one I'd abhor.
I sought my escape, not a moment too soon
I had to move on and away from this loon.

"I'm still seeking answers and ignoring those lies
That were all just a part of her clever disguise.
I must return back to the life that I left
'cause I view it more openly and with much more respect."


But alas the wicked source that he had seeked from the east
Refused to relinquish him, she was quite the beast.
She imprisoned him with words, with threats and with anger
It was then that he realized all he had lived for was in danger.
In her mind she had mapped out the rest of his life
He would leave all behind and she would be soon be his wife.
And the love they had spoken of was nothing but lies
And to have to lay with her for eternity he knew he'd despise
He couldn't conceive making love to her forever
For she made his skin crawl and caused him to shiver.
The heaven she had promised that would only be his
Had been thru so many others and offered nothing as is.


So with great care and planning he devised such a plan
That would remove him from this hell and release him from this land.
He recalled their first walk around the mountain by the lake
It was there they would return and his escape he would make.
He summoned his courage and all the fortitude that he had
And set himself to task this wild scheme he deemed mad.
He must be crafty and sly and show her nothing but love
Then when the time was just right he would make one final shove.
He loved her, he wooed her he showed all his charm
In his effort to deceive her and cause her great harm.


If he failed then he knew that his life would be over
And forever he'd be trapped with this witch as his lover.
Behind her eyes of beauty their lived a woman without sanity
And in mind she was his only and her heart was full of vanity.
For her love was pure selfishness and greed without guilt
It was either surrender his life or let it be her blood spilt.


He took her hand
That fateful day
As they started their walk
As he had planned it that way.
On a day that was cool
On a day with no breeze
They walked like young lovers
With only each other to please.
The came to the clearing
He had remembered from before
And he dropped to one knee
As if to promise her more.
She stood facing him
Her back to the cliff
Looking down on her lover
And he suddenly moved quick.
With a leap and a lunge
He shoved her straight back
She fell head over heels
Into the dark depths
And the black.


She had uttered no cry
On her way to her death
And his descent to go find her
Left him without very much breath.
He found her broken body
Her eyes towards the sky
And he really hated the fact
That this woman had to die.


And then he remembered her evil and wicked ways
And the prison she would have had him in for the rest of his days.
He set to work quickly digging the dirt with his hands
He had truly succeeded with his dark evil plan.
He finished his task and he rose and walked away
And hoped he'd eventually forget this damned day.

He returned to his life that she had once called mundane
He found the true happiness that had been there always.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence
Sometimes you just need look and see the love so immense.
His life became richer and fuller, you see
It was all in his power, he just had to believe.


A hundred years came to pass, his life had ceased and moved on
But something of his had remained and never was gone.
Her unmarked grave lay unnoticed and on it no grass ever grew
For her wickeness and lies still lived on for a few.
Protect your heart from the lies
Protect your life from the hate
Lest you find your own destiny
Resembling this same fate.



A hundred and twenty years passed by
And one day two young lovers
Sat on a stone near the unmarked grave
Arms around each other
And as the young man prepared to drop to one knee
And request the young maiden's hand for eternity
The lightning flashed
The thunder rolled
And the rains came down
And washed the evil from this ground.


Eventually,
Love conquers all.
True, undying and unselfish
Love.

Epic.

Behind The Smile

and as his smile broadened,
he remembered what many thought
he had forgotten
and he set in motion
his plan
his revenge
and relished in knowing
that no one would be the wiser
for all involved
had thought he had forgotten
when in reality
he held onto those memories
and of the injustices
and of the evilness
of those deeds
done unto him
and he knew
the perpetual spirit
would aid him
and guide him
and help him set forth
his plan of action
which was forthcoming
and would leave someone
in awe
and
in agony

let the game begin

The Smile

The strength of those emotions
The hurt, the bite, the bitterness
That welled to the surface
Brought along with it
The Beast
That had been caged within
And was about to be set loose
Upon the unsuspecting masses.

And the Beast smiled its hungry
Smile

FINALLY!!!

At long last, after over 11 weeks with only two small rain showers that accumulated a total of three tenths of an inch of rain, yesterday morning early, a thunderstorm went thru and dumped an inch of rain on us.

Now, that's not a lot, considering we are nearly 11 inches behind where we should be, but at this point in time, an inch of rain is a blessing from God above. I don't know how much of that will make its way down into our well, but it's got to at least help a little.

Our corn crops in the state are devastated, we are in an exceptional drought condition, which is by far the worst drought we have seen in my lifetime, but at least this shows us there is a bit of hope that more will come later on this week.

We've set a record number of days with triple digit temperatures and we just had the hottest month EVER in the state of Indiana.

And August has just begun, and that is usually a very hot and dry month.

I would also like to add a totally unrelated postscript here at the end, but I have been working on something very special and near and dear to my heart, and something I have wanted to do for a very long time. Very shortly it will be appearing on here and I hope my Faithful Few enjoy it and find something very special about it.

Thanks, and thanks to God above for the inch of rain yesterday.

Now, dear Sir, could you please send us a bunch more?

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY - JOE SOUTH 1969.wmv

Oh, man, oh man, is this ever the freaking truth!  Almost to the point of being laughable!  It was appropriate in 1969, and yes, it's appropriate today!

John Waite Concert

This past Saturday night at Riverside Park, the Summer Concert Series presented John Waite Live By The Levee.

Peggy's and my duties and responsibilites kept us separated during the concert, but as fate would have it, during our favorite John Waite tune, "Missing You," we both somehow managed to meet out front on the west side of the Amphitheater and we got to stand with our arms around each other while he performed this beautiful tune from back in the 80s.

It seemed magical to us both, and even more magical was the fact that he was performing it on our stage in front of a huge crowd.

It was truly a memorable evening.