More and more with each passing year, I'm discovering that people are becoming less and less courteous, in more ways than one. One of these areas I notice a lot, since I work daily with the public, is tact.
Anyone who knows me has to be aware of just how much of a kidder and a joker I am, but I do my best to never, ever, hurt anyone's feelings with my remarks. I sure wish I could say that I am paid the same respect in return.
I have been shaving my head daily for the past five years, simply because it's an easy way to hide hair loss. Hey, if you don't have any hair on your head, it sure makes it hard for anyone to tell just how far that hairline has really receded. My skin is pretty tough, so I can take the occasional kidding or snide remark from someone I know really well, but you know, I hear this crap everyday, several times a day, from people I barely know, or some I've never seen before.
When I was growing up, my folks taught me that if you can't say something nice to someone, it's best not to say anything at all. I've remembered this throughout my life, and I don't think I've ever intentionally said something to belittle someone publicly or to hurt their feelings. At least 4 or 5 times a week, I have to put up with the intelligent soul covering their eyes, talking about the horrible glare my bald pate is causing.( They seem to think this is an orignal statement that I've never heard before. I got news for them:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!) Some call me baldy, some ask me why my head shines so much; the list is nearly endless, but trust me, after 5 years, and working with a lot of thoughtless idiotic comments, I've pretty much heard it all.
This week, a septugenarian customer asked me if I used Simonize on my head to get that tremendous glow I was giving off. Now, since I was not waiting on this intelligent soul, but was in the middle of a transaction with another customer and another clerk was actually waiting on her, I did the most repectful thing I could think of: I ignored her!! I was thinking to myself, this was the best course of action to take, because by acting like I didn't hear her, she would think twice about her senseless and rude comment and not repeat herself.
Wrong!
The customer I was waiting on gave me a look and shook her head, as if to say, "What a dumbass!" I winked and smiled back at her. Anyway, I heard her tell the other clerk, "Oh, shoot, he didn't hear me." Now I was positive I had done the right thing.
Wrong again!
As soon as I finished with my customer and she started walking away, the older lady with the questionable intelligence once again uttered, "Excuse me, do you use Simonize on your head to make it shine like that?" She looked out at the two remaining customers who had yet to be waited on, both of whom ignored her. She looked back at me, awaiting the comment I was going to make.
Oh, the things I wanted to say to the woman! First of all, I almost remarked to her, "Any just why do you want to know? Do you have an area of your body that you would like to have shine like this?"
Or, " Why yes I do, but it won't do your wrinkles any good, so don't try it. You have far too many and they're all way too deeply imbedded in your skin."
But, I didn't. Mom and Dad's teachings held fast, so I simply replied, smiling as I did so," No, ma'm, I just sweat a lot!" And I kept smiling and stared her dead in the eye for a long time.
I think I got my point across to her, because she gathered up her items and made her exit. My co-worker looked at me, shook her head, and started waiting on her next customer, commenting about how rude and thoughtless that remark was.
My point here is simply that people don't know what common courtesy is anymore. They make comments without thinking, only wishing to be cute, when actually a lot of times they not only hurt someone's feelings but they make total and complete asses out of themselves.
Case in point:
About ten years ago one of my favorite customers was at the window, talking to me. She is such a warm and wonderful Christian woman. I love this woman so much, they don't make them any better than her, I assure you! While we finished our transaction and our visit, a woman she knew came in as did a couple of other customers. Becky beamed with her one of a kind smile and spoke to the woman, who so graciously greeted her with, "Oh, God, Becky! You're so fat!"
Talk about wanting to "reach out and touch someone." This woman doesn't know how lucky she was that day, because I really did want to reach out and touch her, over and over again until she lost conciousness. But sweet, wonderful Becky only smiled and told her she knew she had been gaining weight, all the while the tears welling in her eyes.
Another time, another older customer of mine was just walking up to the counter, and I was so thankful, because this rude and obnoxious old fellow was just getting ready to walk away from the counter. As he turned around to see who was coming up, she spoke to him which gave this intelligent soul his chance to be "ass of the month."
He looked at her and spoke, and then added, "I didn't know your daughter was married."
Marjorie replied, "She isn't married, Bob."
To which he replied, quite loudly I might add, "Well, she's pregnant!"
And again, another classy comment from a well mannered woman, that this idiot didn't comprehend. All she said back in reply was, "Well, yes she is and she's sure not the first single woman to have a baby, either."
I could go on, because idiocy seems to run rampant in this day and age, and after 26 1/2 years on the job, man, have I heard some doozies! Trust me, you don't want to hear them, because some are a lot worse than these.
My point is, think before you say something to someone. They have feelings, folks, and those feelings in some cases hurt very easily. In other cases, some of these people just really might reach out and touch someone, and that someone might be you. Show intelligence when you speak, and when you do kid someone, do so without trying to hurt or embarrass someone, because if hurt or embarrassment is involved, it's not kidding and it sure as hell isn't funny!
And for the record, no, I don't Simonize, I don't use Nair, I could care less if the glare is that blinding to you, that's what sunglasses are for. Yes, I have hair, but after five years I don't know where it's growing and besides, it's no one's business by own. Yes, I grow a pony tail with my shaved head, and the reason why I do that I shared with another intelligent soul at Wal-Mart one day when he asked me what the ponytail proved, I told him it was a sociological experiment. When he asked what that was, I told him it was to see just how many people thought my hairstyle was really any of their business....
Funny thing, he hasn't asked me since.
Must have been all those people that laughed when I told him that!
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