The fire is starting to burn again in me, and it's been years, nearly 5 now, since the yearning was there to sit and write and forget time and space...the fire is starting to kindle and burn again, and frankly, dear readers, it's scaring me...
During the last few years of my Mother's life before she left for a much better world, I sat at this keyboard, day after day, evening after evening, night after and night, and I wrote...did you get that, I WROTE!!!
Three-thousand, eight hundred and sixteen pages....Look at that again, folks,
3,816 pages...
And no one, not even yours truly, the author, read it...it was written over a period of close to three years....written, never proof read, never re-read...just written...
And then, when I felt the time was right, I deleted every word, every sentence, every paragraph, every single thing over that span of time....words that had flowed, words that had just simply fell from my mind and out my fingers...
DELETED!!!!!
I remember some of them, a lot of them, but not enough of them, and truly, I believe that is a good thing...There were a lot of harsh words, a lot of things I felt but didn't truly understand and still don't, and a lot of confusion going on in my soul....
Most of the words that were deleted served their purpose and were purged from my being, and honestly, I think a lot of them were the best words I ever let out of myself...
Some of those words were hurtful words directed at people that didn't really deserve them directed at them, and they have been lost forever in print, and most of them have been purged from my mind as well.
I do wish a few of those words I hadn't deleted...in my mind they were profound and worthy of being seen by others...they were probably some of the best word I have ever written...
I hope I'm getting my point home to those faithful few who continue to read what I expunge here...You've missed the best words the Demon has ever written or will ever write, bar none...they were deleted forever with the single stroke of a key...
So. a new challenge is born...
I'm about to start again, after all these previous entries, I'm now READY to start writing again for real...
Hope you stick around and see what happens...
Hope I do too...
1 comment:
Well, I don't know how much talent I really have, if any, I just know that I always loved to write and after I deleted all that work I had done, I truly thought I had written my last. But I swear, I can feel the fever starting to burn in me again, and as the weather turns cooler here in Indiana and as Nascar season comes to its close, there will be more time, and when that time arrives, there will be words to be written...lots and lots of them. Don't know if they'll be good or not, but I hope you find them interesting and enjoyable. Thanks so much for the support, Mea, it means a lot to me! RD
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