Untitled Poem, April 30, 2011

I am confused
By the
Silence,

Reminded
By the
Net.

Worried by loss
Of
Memory.

So afraid
You might
Forget.

I'm reassured
As the words
Convey

Across the
Endless
Miles

Those feelings
That we've set
Free

That produce our
Mutual
Smiles.

The sense of
Loss is
Weakened

By the music
Our hearts
Sing.

My soul
Remains
Enraptured

As my Angel
Spreads her
Wings.

Returning To Work On Monday

It's been a long, painful and emotional eight and a half weeks since I last worked. This coming Monday, I will return to work with a new right shoulder, and I'll return knowing that I will be limited by doctor's orders as to what I can exactly do.

This is not new to me, having had shoulder surgery on the left shoulder 11 years ago. However, I am now 11 years older than back then, so I know my progression is going to be a bit different paced. I also won't have my sister working beside me to help me readjust.

I don't know exactly what to expect, but I do know that in the past, our group of workers have always chipped in and helped a fellow worker out. I can only hope that hasn't changed like everything else seems to have done.

I will continue with daily home physical therapy, twice a week appointments with my physical therapist and once a month visits to the surgeon. Will careful monitoring, I should be as good as new come July 2nd.

I just hope getting to July 2nd won't be that big of a venture.

We're short-staffed, restricted by an unrealistic budget and it's a different world than it was 11 years ago.

I'm sure I can do my job with the restrictions I have to follow. I'm sure that certain co-workers will be willing to help me out when the need arises.

I'm hoping new management since 11 years ago is as understanding and willing to help as they were in the past.

We shall see.

In the meantime, I have two days to get the mind set back in the old groove. There will be no vacations to look forward to this year since recovery from this surgery has eaten up ALL my vacation and sick time.

Good Lord willing, before the close of 2011, I will clock out for the final time, if that be His will.

I'm hoping He and I are seeing eye to eye on this one.

This tired, fat old bald fart is ready for quieter days with no one but a Higher Power to answer to.

Hopefully I've earned that, hopefully I deserve that, and hopefully that can be mine before the end of this year.

Now I just have to get thru that first week back to work.

Wish me luck!!!

Patty Loveless(1996.01) - A Thousand Times A Day

Another song that has come to mind that won't get out of my head. Therefore, once again, Faithful Few, I will share it with you. Turn off the jukebox at the right and hit the play button to view the video. The lyrics are COZMIC!!!

Looking Back Today

I hope that when you look back and think
Of those special moments we shared
That a smile finds its way to your lips
And you don't have memories that despair.

You and I shared a difficult time
And we eased each other thru them
We nurtured each other and gave us both hope
During a time full of strife and mayhem.

As the years go by and our thoughts return
To that special time we survived
Those feelings return awakening for a while
And the strong love that was there, despite.

From time to time, when our lives seem distressed
Our thoughts return to that time
And we oft wonder, if things had been different
Would we still be together, or divided.

The past has a way of returning to mind
Tender moments we shared in the past
Yet we somehow remind ourselves of these things
And know in our hearts, they never would last.

Today is today, the past is the past,
And tomorrow we know not what holds.
Yet when we look back, we can smile as we did,
Yet not knowing what our futures beholds.

I now look ahead, to a change in my life
As I know that you also must do
And I hope that you are happy with the moments we shared
I could not have gotten this far without you.

An Observation

When you're down, feeling bad, and trying to recover, you get told to get better, things will be okay, and we'll help you any way we can after you get back among us.

Then, when it's imminent that you are indeed coming back, an entirely different light comes on and those words that were spoken to you have all but disappeared.

Jesus Christ Superstar 1973 ( Gethsemane / I Only Want to Say ) HD

Such a great musical interpretation of Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. To me this was one of the high points of the rock opera.

etta james I'd Rather Go Blind

Once again, a song comes to mind that I have to share. Don't forget to turn off the jukebox on the right first, then click the play button and listen to Etta James at her best. What a song!!!

Happy Easter, One and All

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. Mark 16:6

Shit Upon Shit

Time swirls, out of control,
Leaving in its wake no answers
To so many questions,
And the one who asks stands
In the realm of quiet,
No one speaks,
No one talks,
No one cares,
And he wonders why
He even
Tries.

Solution forthcoming...

When You're Wrong, You're Wrong

As I found out earlier today, I was indeed wrong about returning to work on April the 18th. When my sling came off yesterday after six weeks, I realized just how much mobility of my right arm I have temporarily lost.

I had a very intense therapy session yesterday and one at home last night, and the ice bag and I have had a reunion of which I'm sure is going to take place twice a day for the next several weeks. Stretching shoulder and arm muscles is NOT without extreme pain.

I realized before I drove home from the therapist yesterday that there was no way I could go back to work on Monday.

At my surgeon appointment this morning I was told two more weeks before I can return to work, and then with a lot of restrictions.

So, another therapy appointment tomorrow and two a week for the next six weeks. Then we evaluate progress and decide if I need more therapy. I'm hoping that will be all it takes. I'm good at doing my home therapy and don't miss a session.

The picture accompanying this entry is a photo of a piece of equipment I am using now at home. It isn't a medieval torture device, although it feels like it could have been at one time. It's a pulley system that is helping stretch my shoulder and arm muscles back into shape.

This little contraption is going to make me good as new. For all the pain it is causing me, it better!

Eric Lindell performs at the Sheridan Opera House in Telluride, Colorado

Turn off the juke box on the right and hit the play button on this really cool tune by Eric Lindell...can't get this song out of my head right now!

5 1/2 Weeks

It's now been a very long 5 1/2 weeks since surgery.

This Wednesday at 8:15AM, I go to my first physical therapy appointment and should be able to get out of my sling, finally. That's not to say I haven't been doing therapy because I've been doing home therapy since the day following surgery, 7 exercises, 3 times each day. As much as a discomfort that has been, the really tough work now lies ahead of me.

On Thursday morning, I go back to see the surgeon and see how I'm progressing and if I'm ready to go back to work, with restrictions. If I was guessing, my guess would be no, but we shall see what we shall see. He wants me off until early May, but my leave is going to run out soon and I asked him if I could go back April 18th.

Now I'm not so sure I can deal with it that soon.

Like I said, we shall see.

It Can't Be

He felt it slipping away,
A little at a time,
His mind not quite
Grasping
The reality of the situation,
The awareness arriving
Moments too late.

Wave Effect

Ripples,
Cascading outward,
Each wave its own
Separate universe,
Each universe
Sheltering countless worlds.
Yet,
Of these innumerable
Worlds,
We share the same one,
As if by accident.
However,
The knowledge we
Possess
Reveals this is no accident,
This is fate,
This is destiny,
This is life
As it was intended.