Years ago, more than I care to think about, no one had ever heard of a designated driver! That's not to say that there weren't such people that stayed away from the booze all evening long, but it just wasn't something that was really ever talked about.
During those times it was not uncommon for my wife and I to have a houseful of company on a weekend night and an absolutely amazing amount of alcohol be consumed. And while most of our friends drank as much as they wanted, I don't think there were a lot of people that left and hit the road three sheets to the wind.
We did have a friend one night decide he could stomp on a two by twelve plank and break it half, only to find out that this particular plank was bullheaded and had no intention of letting him have his way. Thus, a tetnaus shot and thirty-seven stitches later after an hour or so in the local emergency room rounded out the evening of fun and excitement.
Then there was the night one of our crowd was bragging about all the pot he had smoked and how it never affected him. The next weekend our same small group of people got together, loaded up a pipe with the contents of a Lipton tea bag and watched same said individual get stoned on his ass as the rest of us laughed behind his back, amazed that anyone, anwhere and at anytime could ever get even a mild buzz of of good old Lipton Tea!
One of group belly crawled upon a poor unsuspecting couple one evening that were parked up at the top of our hill and in the heat of passion they didn't hear the air being let out of their tires. Another couple a few weeks later parked in about the same spot were shammed by our group as we each wore a blanket around us and over our heads and walked towards their car chanting out loud like a group of "Satanists." I don't recall ever seeing anyone getting their pants on and taking off any quicker than I did that night.
We had one night when all of us beer drinkers decided to drink screwdrivers instead of beer. We each spent the evening with the blender nearby mixing vodka and orange juice. When our friend the tea smoker showed up, we convinced him to join us and drink screwdrivers with us. And we were nice to him that evening, too. We mixed his drinks the same as ours, two fingers of booze and the rest of the glass filled with orange juice over ice. Oh, did I fail to mention that while our drinks all consisted of two fingers of vodka per glass, his glasses someone received two fingers of Everclear alcohol! All one hundred and ninety proof! Needless to say, this young man felt pretty rough on Sunday morning from all reports, and to this day, unless he's reading this now, we never did tell him what we had done.
There are countless other tales and adventures and misadventures, but the point being, we all had a good time, made some wonderful memories, and put no one at risk on the highways. We provided a safe haven for our friends to get rowdy and have a good time without putting anyone at risk.
I wouldn't change any of that for anything in the world and given the chance I would do it all over again.
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