Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Wish To You

Thanks to all who have hung by me this year. Sporadic postings, some quite grim have kind of been the norm for the past few months, but hopefully next year things will be a bit different when you come here. I appreciate each and everyone of you, my Faithful Few.
Merry Christmas and may you all be blessed with peace and happiness this holiday season.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Final Purge

I have no wishes for you this holiday season.
No good wishes, but no bad ones, either.
You see, you no longer exist to me.
You left my heart and the place you held there years ago.
I feel no remorse over these feelings, but I feel no happiness to be having them for that matter.
You are not really dead to me, but are no longer real to me as well.
Memories of you are fading, and they are fading fast.
The memories that were good now seem like distant dreams.
The memories of you which were bad are similar to nightmares from long ago, and you can't quite remember what it was about them that scared you so.
I know it wasn't meant to be this way, but you left me no choice.
A heart can only stand so much pain that it finally either has to break, or it has to defend itself in the best way possible so it can avoid the hurt, the pain and, of course, the eventual breaking that comes along with it.
There is nowhere that you stand within the confines of my heart.
You're actually now on the outside and you hold no true place there anymore.
I know you'll never read these words, that doesn't bother me in the slightest.
Part of my healing is to put these words down and purge that last little bit of you out of my soul, and that has now been done.
I can't wish you good.
I won't wish you bad.
How can I?
You aren't really real anymore, are you?
I don't care if you're happy.
I don't care if you're sad.
I don't care if you are alive.
I don't care if you are dead.
You are, after all, no longer real, so what does it matter?
I'm so much better off without the unrealness of you in my life.
Who were you, really, anyway?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

3 1/2 And Counting

The holiest of holidays approaches
And what I wouldn't give
To spend that time
With loved ones
Who departed this life
Years ago

As I sit dreaming of such a reunion
Alive and well
I can't understand
The apathy
Of those who seek
To rob the gift of love
From those who fantasize
Of sharing the love
From those too selfish
And who don't even

There are those
Who do relish
A sharing
A caring
With no strings attached
And it is with those
Whom I now
Let into my heart
For they seek not to hurt
But to give.