Monday, December 24, 2007

Bob Dylan - Positively 4th Street (Studio Recording)

Probably my all time favorite Dylan song. This song has been playing thru my mind for the last few days and I just had to see if a video existed so I could post it here. Without a doubt the lyrics really say it all. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

foggy glass

sometimes the winds of change
blow so hard
and things go so far off course
it's impossible to ever return
and reclaim what once was
yet never truly will be again
because of misconception
and assumption
while trying to look thru the eyes
of someone you
no longer know.

Friday, December 21, 2007

weird al one more minute

Sometimes when you're down, only Weird Al can bring a smile to your face. This video is probably my favorite Weird Al song. Catch the back up singers and all the movements they do to the lyrics. If this doesn't bring a chuckle to you consult a shrink because this one is so great. Thanks for watching.

news delivered

the need, so strong,
a need to turn
with nowhere to go
empty hands
empty heart
confused thoughts
crushed ego
life goes on
and no one notices and
no one truly gives a shit.
imagine that!

Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Season Of Truth

You came into the world
With a preordained purpose.
You arrived without fanfare
In a place reserved for animals.
You lived a paltry life
With little or no comfort
And died an agonizing death
That others might live and be rewarded with

What a shame so many fail
To recognize your season
As YOUR season
And instead mutate and warp it
To suit their own
Selfish desires and beliefs.

This season, as always
My thoughts turn to you
All those centuries ago
When your birth was announced
By an eastern star.

Thanks for what you have given to us all,
Not just to me and to mine,
But to us all
And thanks for the chance
To follow you.

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Delusional # 34

Crowded, yet I'm so lonely,
But it's so quiet.
So much talking,
But I'm remaining silent.
So much happiness,
Yet I'm morose.

You smile that smile that signals
As I remain
With the same frown
I've worn for so long
For reasons you've yet to

You laugh
Your laugh,
Yet I smile my knowing smile,
You accomplished
Yet you think you've won the prize
While all you've really won
Is false victory
And utter defeat.

You gather those five of yours together
Along with your sixth,
And you relay to them
That the despondence that you
Is that of your own creation
And while you celebrate the
Emptiness you so desire
To hold as impressive
And smug,
Is truly a pathetic
That you attempt
To fool so many with
As you hold your head high
While your soul
Sells you out
And reveals your true self:
A pathetic excuse as a human being,
A husband
A Father
And a Son.

Ironically, you're no longer needed
As your masqueraded independence
Does nothing more
Than to prove
What a joke you've created
As your world,
Yet no one else
Other than those close to you
Sheds tears,
Because they have become wise
And accustomed
Your Ways.....

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Relative Bearing

Yet assured,
Yet knowing.
With a mind already made up,
Yet knowing most of the answers.
Longing for the anticipated
That awaits so far off in the distance.
Silence breeds
And so many unanswered questions.

Will I play the game to the end?

And if I do,
Who wins?

The clock approaches the arrival
Of yet another day,
And the game plays

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


All on board the train of thought!

Hmmm, light load tonight for sure!

Next stop, the light of hope.

Okay, who turned off the lights?

Sunday, November 11, 2007


Tender moments,
Shared thoughts,
A meandering of one's arrival
Into a new realm
Thought lost,
Not forgotten,
but with an amnesia like quality
Seems new yet again.


With the speed of a humming bird in flight
My heart races
When faced with you so close to me.

Was It A Dream

Awakening from a deep sleep,
The vision of a dream,
So brilliantly imbedded in my mind,
Hovering over the arrival
Of the now.
Leaving behind in this world
The evidence of
An emotional persuasiveness
Embellishing itself as no longer a dream
But as of a self-conscious effort

Monday, October 29, 2007


Sometimes in our lives, things have a way of happening,
Of working in ways we don't seem to understand,
Yet eventually,
Reality comes to light
And total realization blazes forth.

The Proverbial

Just because the can was opened doesn't necessarily mean that there's worms inside of it.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


Surrounded by people
Yet feeling all alone
Forcing the smile on my face
No meaning behind it but as a shadow
Hiding, unable to explain why.

Words are such wicked weapons
Spoken without thinking
Rendering the pain of a stilleto
Piercing the heart.

You are oblivious to the hurt
You planted
With your words and your wicked smile,
But the damage you caused
Leaves me feeling abandoned
While still surrounded by an unsuspecting crowd.
I feel so


Unanswered questions,
Unextingushable fire of fear.
Not certain why I've been chosen,
Unsure what is lying inside me
Waiting to pounce.

I feel the change in me,
Inward and outward both,
Yet I'm unable to change the course
Of either.

Answers lie ahead
In mere days,
And although a fear resides in my heart,
I so desire to know the truth
And what path it shall lead me upon.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Fuming Confusion

Like an invading spirit,
like an invading cancer,
Ate thru the security and barrier
Of my psyche,
Creating a questioning,
Causing me to look backward,
Ignoring forward momentum,
Begetting indecision,
Allowing thoughts of inadequacy
To become a pendulum
Of searing and spiraling
Deeply embedded emotions.

How does one escape that which bears no
Reason to escape from?
Why does one continually feel the
That truly doesn't exist?
How can one finally move away
Trek forward
And break free from a self-created
That binds me, ties me down and holds me back?

Clarity arrives, yet only in small
I wonder of the eventuality of
That still shields itself from me.
I damn you, over and over
Not wanting to blame you, but myself,
Yet the reality of the situation
Is clear, yet I try to view it thru
A smoky haze.
I cease to see the honesty I hold onto.

The heart continues to harden,
The spirit of love continues to die
As the cancer spreads,
And eats away at my heart and my soul.

You've had your chance,
You hold no feelings for the ones who so much
Wanted nothing more than just to
Feel you in their hearts,
And know that you desired nothing
At all, but to be the demon
That you have been
All along.

But I'm seeing clearer,
I will rise above
This shitpile you yourself assembled,
And I will break free,
One day soon,
I will break free.


Sunday, October 07, 2007

Hiatus Almost Over

After an absence of nearly five months(yeah, it's been a busy five months, faithful few!) I am about to embark on yet another round of postings, again with no set schedule, but I am indeed coming back very, very soon.

Becoming a civic volunteer has definitely changed a lot of things in my life, my timetable, my lifestyle and my writing as well. Yet, it's been such a rewarding and wonderful summer, more of which we shall discuss at a later time.

In the meantime, I hope I've been missed and I hope that this posting gets you wanting more and waiting and anticipating my next entry.

Hold on, we're about to take off once again on this ride together...

I can't wait.

How about you?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

And You Think You've Got Problems

Wet like a sponge, the idea burst forth and blossomed like a cactus flower. All around, dead silence followed, and nothing could be heard but a small voice uttering, "Pearls before swine, pearls before swine."

Confused but yet not quite blind, those in close proximity fell prostate and uttered a chant known only by the fewest of select Buddhist monks that left the monastery close to three centuries before.

An apparition appeared, but not before the networks cancelled all but the worst of television shows and out of the mass hysteria that this boneheaded idea created came forth yet another useless and totally worthless crowd of tiny capsules headed off for the toilet bowl.

I found myself somewhat confused but yet totally in awe of the understanding of such a cosmic recollection and I was amazed to find that I had no earthly idea at all what the hell all of this nonsense means, but if you read this far, it must have caught your interest, at least partially if not totally and completely raptured.

In more common terms:

What the hell????

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Mind Matter Releasing

This is simply an entry to release some crap that has building up inside my head, in no particular order, so I have no idea what is about to come out here.

American Idol

American Idol is now in its sixth season, and it appears that this tremendously successful venture into discovering new musical talent has hit a stalemate this year, thanks in part to some truly ignorant asses that have nothing better to do with their time than to try and ruin something that has, up until this season, proven to be a very fruitful venture.

The king of smut on the airwaves, Howard Stern, has ignited a campaign to make sure people vote enmasse' for the worst singer in the competition, proving himself as a man who is lacking in true success, so he is attempting to ruin the number one rated show on television. The hilarity of his situation is that regular AM and FM radio no longer holds a home for this troll, so he now has his program on Sirius satellite radio, and is playing to a much smaller audience. However, the Charles Manson of the airwaves has his faithful following and his core audience follows his bidding and have started a campaign of calls into the weekly posted toll free numbers, and in so doing, are ruining the validity of the American voting for the next American Idol.

I'm also told that there is a website that also "tells" people who to vote for, and of course, the site is telling people once again who the worst of the contestants is, and like sheep being led to a slaughter, the faithful group of mindless robots are also voting in masses attempting to throw the proverbial monkey wrench into the works and pass the worst of the contestants on each week. Much like the Hitler Youth of the 1940's, mind control continues to rear its ugly head and make its attempt at ruining Fox's very successful show.

I truly believe in my heart that once the show moves towards its final six contestants, the true voting public of our nation will win out over the vote for the worst ruse. It is a shame, however, that ignorance is bliss sometimes, and it only goes to show you that when something is truly successful, there are those mindless cretins who are bent on ruining a good thing.

Hopefully after this season of controversy, Fox will next season limit the number of votes per telephone number to a more reasonable ten each and squash another attempt at depriving American Idol's faithful audience of an accurate and fair contest.

Gasoline Prices, YES, AGAIN!!!

An amazing thing once again this year is how gas prices have risen faster than a year ago, and seemingly just in time for the travels of Spring Break and Easter weekend. More tripe has been given for this next round of higher prices, yet no one really will take a stand and call it what it really is, price gouging at America's best! Another year of record profits loom for the greed and insanity of the oil industry, and once again, Congress will fail to take action as this great American rip off continues. Look for it to only continue to worsen since the oil industry is quickly realizing they can do whatever they want with the price of gasoline and face no threat from a oil controlled White House.

Blue Funk

I continue to suffer from a blue funk that came over me back in February when winter really decided to arrive. Try as I might, my creative force refuses to be tapped, and I continue to just ride it out and wait until truly better weather arrives and sunshine comes back into my life, in more ways than one.

Dark thoughts and emotions seem to be a regular part of my life at present, and though I know this is only a temporary condition I'm in, it is becoming quite frustrating, because it seems nothing I can do myself will alleveiate it. Until that happens, I would imagine my postings will continue to be sporadic at best.

I thank all of my faithful few for bearing with me, because I promise, better days are ahead and things will be getting better.

Until then, I bid you all adieu....

Sunday, March 25, 2007

November 15, 1991

My wife and I have been doing the traditional spring cleaning thing most of us dread doing each year, and while doing so we came across a poem I had written shortly after our son moved out on us and began his journey of thinking he had "escaped" the worst prison on the face of the earth. Funny, how over sixteen years later so much of what I had written back then still holds true to this day, as it has been nearly two years since we last heard from him. I felt it only proper after discovering this piece to include it on this site.

November 15, 1991

For eighteen years he gave me a reason
To get up and face each day,
But now my incentive to life my life full
Has packed up and moved away.

It's not just the fact that he's moved away
That is hurting myself and my wife.
But for some unknown reason we don't understand
We're no longer a part of his life.

Now I know we're not perfect as all parents aren't,
Although I thought we were better than most.
And that special closeness I thought we all shared,
I imagined it all, I suppose.

I mean what do you say to a son that you love,
Probably more than your own life itself?
You can't say "You live here and do as I say,
And damnit, you love us or else!"

I just hope he realizes we'll always be here
And stand behind him thru good times and bad.
Hey, we're not the bad monsters he thinks that we are.
We're just simply his Mom and his Dad.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Blue Movement

Empty heart, no tears left
Love has escaped
And left the soul in an effort
To protect itself from the pain.

Exiled from my world
And now my heart
And try as I might
I can feel no remorse.

I have deadened the link
Between us,
The memories now seem like those
Of another
And not part of my own.

I have banished you out of my life
Out of my heart
And out of my soul
And laid it all,
In the hands of the supreme one
That awaits us all at the end
Of this

Trust no longer exists
Emotions are cold and unyielding
As I no longer attempt control
And give the timetable to
God above.

Maybe in time the answer to this prayer
Shall come to pass.

As for now,
You are
No one to me.

This is by your choice.
I have given you what you wanted.

How does it feel?

Approaching April 15th

The tax man cometh
And he taketh
and taketh and taketh
All he can.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Looking For The Positive Side Of Things

A harsh fall let loose on a very mild winter here in Indiana, that is until just a few weeks ago, and Mother Nature decided to let us know who is still boss.

A near blizzard came thru earlier this week adding to the remnants of snow already on the ground, and as I sit here typing, another round of snow from an Alberta Clipper is dumping a fine powdery covering on top of close to 10 to 12 inches of snow that already is lying on the ground. We're being told this will be a lighter round of snow, only 2 to 4 inches, but at this point in time, anything in the way of snow is too much as far as I'm concerned.

Later this morning, I'll once again don the insulated coveralls and head out to fire up the John Deere and plow the drive for the third time in less than a week.

Vacation began last evening as I clocked out from work, and I can honestly say I NEED this vacation badly. I've survived another Christmas season at work, my 28th, and now I'm in the midst of tax season, truly my least favorite time of year. Needless to say this vacation is highly anticipated.

Next Thursday, February 22nd, my wonderful wife and I will be celebrating our 29th anniversary, and in honor of that achievement, we'll be travelling a couple of hours away and be staying for four nights in a State Park inn. This has become an annual tradition for us and a short trip away that we both look so forward to each year.

My understanding is that there isn't as much snow where we are travelling to as there is here, and with warmer temperatures expected to arrive next week, we anticipate temperatures south of here to be about ten degrees warmer than they are here at home. I sure hope that is the case. Matter of fact, I'll take twenty degrees warmer if it happens to be that way instead.

I guess it's time to put off the inevitable and put on the winter clothing and head out to do the job that I'm not looking forward to, but, in a few hours my wife will be heading back home from her last day at work and I guess it would be nice for her to arrive with a freshly plowed driveway awaiting her.

I think I'll reward myself with a nice cup of kahlua and coffee when I get back inside.

See, there is a bit of silver lining awaiting me after this cold job I'm getting ready to do.


Once adored, almost immediately forgotten about,
Cast aside, set to drift in the wind,
My lover amnesicac, the memory of me fading,
Abandoned for what I covered,
And not loved for what I truly am.
Creating clutter,
Being the source of anger
This wasn't my choice,
I was a victim,
Yet I am the receptor of so much
And all I can do is lie here
Hoping the winds come along
And carry me on to where I can
No longer be seen
And hated so much
For things, not in my control.

Saturday, February 03, 2007


Lines like a road map,
Deeply embedding my face,
Showing the toll of the years,
A fee paid like a toll road
For all the miles of usage.

I wonder how high these milemarkers go?

Saturday, January 13, 2007

The Song Of Yolanda

My wonderful friend Autumn, aka Mea, and I have collaborated on our second poem together, and I hope you enjoy our effort posted here. At first, I thought there would be more added to this one, but after having reviewed it I have decided that is indeed a complete work as presented here. We both hope you enjoy this joint effort on our part. Our first poem together is posted on Autumn's site, Two Little Blue Horizons, if you care to check it out. We're hoping to continue this venture of ours together and hope that our faithful few enjoy reading these as much as we do working on them together.
And, if you haven't read any of Autumn's poetry on her blogsite, you need to. This gal kicks it, folks!
Hope you enjoy The Song Of Yolanda!

Light fell upon her eyes
Revealing her truths to all who looked her way.
A boorish looking woman, until second glance
And her eyes beckoned to anyone around
And made clear her life had been so very strained.

Her eyes told of many losses
In her life, and they spoke of the pain she had endured.
Wrinkles spread out from around her eyes
Showing the strain of her years, though the years numbered
Many less than one would at first guess her to be.
Her eyes took one on a ride into the depths of her very being
The trip was not one for the faint of heart
for it was filled with many unfortunate tales wrought with pain.
Her appearance was that of a well to do nature,
Yet she carried herself with the poorness of a lowly maid.
So many tales seemed to be bursting at the seams, yet she stayed quiet.
She had told her story many a time before only to have it brushed off as nothing.
Her hands showed signs of labour,tanned up to the wrist from the sun.
Small and fragile seemed her fingers
Yet they were filled with scars.
You could see traces of dirt lodged around where one would have a fingernail,
All delicate and pretty with paint.
Hers have been chewed upon past all recognizable distinction.
So many stories screamed from her utter being.
So much sadness just sitting and waiting to have its day.
On this regular morning as the sun peeked over her shadow ever still,
Just as the birds were giving up on the drying once worm filled dew covered ground.
As ones were busy rushing about their lives with no intent or knowledge of even her presence there
It was then,
Then that the light could hold her pain no more
And it was let out.

As legends go, on this day her story became one of the epics,
The growing mountain of pain
Surpassed even her limit of tolerance
And boiled within her, the steam of her agony seeking release,
Ever searching for a way out,
Moreover, an

No drug could have helped quiet her tongue, for her
Song of longing ached to be sung,
Loudly, and with the fiery spirit that was always
Stifled inside her.
This day among days, this day in her life
That would forever be set aside from all others
Would be the day that the voice within her
Finally sprung forth and sang
The song of Yolanda.

Yet it wasn't just the song of her pain
And suffering that would be born this day,
But the years of such a downtrodden life would finally reach their limit,
And as her song was being sung,
The build up of all those years of stifled emotions
Burst forth from her as well,
And the sheer violence of that day would become legendary and never
Forgotten by those who knew her
Or would later remember that they had known her,
And all would remember her name:

lest we forget

If one has forgotten something, and realizes they have forgotten something, have they really forgotten anything at all?

Paranoia #35

Confusion abounds,
Questions unanswered,
Work incomplete.
Emotions drown,
Worry spreads like cancer,
Life mired down in defeat.

A knock at the door,
Answers at my fingers.
Yet the door remains closed.
Standing solid on the floor
The knocking soul yet lingers
Yet I somehow feel like I've been hosed.

Still seeking answers, yet finding few
Moving ahead, small steps I'm taking
Looking over my shoulder, partly in fear
Wondering why I haven't heard from you
Of what now are you partaking
And just why the hell aren't you here.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Life Preserver

Sometimes I wish someone would throw me
A rope,
Because I feel like I'm out here,
Swimming all alone.

And I'm drowning....


If time is marching on, why on Earth
Are so many out of step?

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Scoping Out 2007

Okay, here we go. Another new year lies ahead, and although it would be grand to see it be a marvelous year with many positive changes and improvements, I would say the actual likelihood of that happening has two chances: slim and none.

I'm not a pessimist, but I do intend to be a realist, and my realism tends to make me appear to be pessimistic. Just for the hell of it, let's take a few items of interest and I'll give my synopsis of how I think 2007 will prevail with each of them.

The big one, of course, is the US involvement in Iraq. Those who know the pacifist side of me know I don't support our country's decision in being there. No, I'm not unpatriotic, because I do indeed support our troups who are over there against no choice of their own. However, I don't support the true reason of our war effort which has never been told in honesty to this nation of ours. I see too many deaths occuring on both sides and can't see the merit for the loss. Let's face it, this war is not about terrorism but about oil and the control of the oil supply in this nation. Okay, we got Hussein, we tried him and we executed him. But did we get the so called weapons of mass destruction? No, and the plain and simple reason we didn't is because they simply didn't exist. So, no WMD's, a new government has been installed, So-damned-insane has been executed, and we're still there? Okay, but if we've acheived these things our president said needed to be done, why are we still there? Final answer: OIL. Anyone familiar with George W Bush knows his family is rich in the oil business and that should leave the answer about or involvement in Iraq crystal clear. We'll be there as long as George W is in office, and not even a Democratic controlled Congress will be able to get around that. So no, the US will not be pulling out of Iraq in 2007.

US oil prices. Answer: Read the above over again, ok? Oil prices in this nation will either remain constant or rise sharply during this year. Face it, Georgie boy is making a mint with his investments, and with oil companies making record profits do you really think anything will be done by the Bush Administration to get prices back down to where they actually should be?

Osama Bin-Laden. Do I believe he will be captured in 2oo7? I wish I could sit here and give you a plethora of hope for this happening, but after all, it's been over five years since the September 11th attacks, and if there had been any hope of catching him, I'm sure it would have been within months of the attacks. Bin-Laden is a crafty and patient son of a bitch, folks. I mean, look how long he planned and orchestrated the 9/11 attacks after car bombing the World Trade Center. This is a man, demonic possessed that he is, that has the patience of Job. He has the monetary means to pretty much do whatever he wants and he has just enough of that Charlie Manson mystique about him that he has a whole horde of Islamic cultists who truly believe in him and his cause. Manson bullshitted his family, Bin-Laden has his extremists bullshitted as well, and they are financially able to keep him hidden and do his bidding. No, Bin-Laden will not be captured and brought to justice is 2007, but I would love it if another Al-Qaeda extremist assassinated his ass and then had the gun pulled on him at the same time.

Will terrorist attacks continue in 2007? Sadly, yes, they will, no doubt. Greed is an interesting sin, and as long as it continues to spread at its present rate, yes, terrorism will continue to be a global threat. Will our nation be hit with another attack in 2oo7? I can only answer with another question: What ever happened to those who pulled of the antrax attacks back in 2001? You decide if terrorist attacks are indeed possible here in 2007.

I guess that's enough of this. I would love to be able to sit here and write wonderful things and spread good news to us all, unfortunately, as I stated previously, I'm a realist, and as a realist, I can only tell you how I feel based on current events, and that outlook, indeed, is not optimistic.

How much I would love to be proven wrong, folks!

I can only hope I will be.


AM Discovery

I awoke this morning to only find

Monday, January 01, 2007


The untrainable item in our lives,
The one we can't hold onto,
Or simply possess enough of.
Time is there for us all,
Yet it laughs,
It mocks,
And it holds itself just out of our reach,
So calculating,
So cunning,
So controlling,
Ever out of our reach.