Friday, October 28, 2005

Our Private Dance

Of all things in this life
That I'll never be
Is a dancer, for I've been blessed
With two left feet.

Should a time arrive when
The two of us walk amongst
The beauty of the woods
Just one time I'd like to try and
Dance with you.

We won't need an accompaniment
Of an orchestra or a band
We'll have the music of the ages
To help us glide our steps.

The wings of the butterfly as she makes
Her journey home.
The whine of the mosquito as she searches
For her nightly meal.
The buzz of the hummingbird as he lands softly
Searching for his nectar in the lillies of the field.

The cicadas singing their high-pitched song
Looking for their intimate encounter that
Perpetuates their life cycle.
The crickets chirping out
To set our feet into rhythm.

Our arms embracing as our eyes
Gaze deeply into each other
Communicating a closeness
A bonding
A sensation like no other.

A dance with purpose
A dance with daring
A dance shared by two special friends
The music:

Saturday, October 22, 2005

A Conceivable Concept

Last night one of those strange little quirks happened to me. For the second time since I began blogging somehow I managed to erase an entire blog right before it was finished. There it was, and then, there it WASN'T! Lost forever somewhere in the vast space that is called the web, never to be found again. To say I was upset would be an understatement, because quite frankly, I was pissed off!

It occurred to me at that time, that there was no way that I was ever going to recapture the essence of what I had written. It was lost forever, never to be returned to its original intended form. Then something else occurred to me at that time which is the reason for this blog in itself. Now before you go off and finish reading thinking you're reading the meanderings of someone who is smoking something really good here or maybe has nipped one too many shots out of a bottle of Crown, give this a chance, because I'm sure after you read thru it you will see the point I'm trying to make and shake your head in amazement at the profoundness of what you've just read.(Okay, maybe the last part is just wishful thinking on my part, but at least give this entire blog a read, ok?) Besides, it's shortly before 8 am and I haven't nary a thing to smoke or drink at this early hour, and I'm barely thru my first cup of coffee.

Writers expound upon us the wisdom of their with as they produce different articles of literature for us to read. Some spend mere minutes, others spend vast hours. Some like myself do it for the pleasure of releasing words from the mind, others do it to make their livings. Has it ever occurred to you that you are indeed NOT reading what they had originally intended for you to read?

I submit to you that a writer never, ever completely gets down on paper the original idea he had began his quest to write. For whatever reason, it never completely makes the trip from his mind to his hands and comes out in the same form it had originally intended to be. Consider this statement as I continue typing and you continue reading. As you just read this past paragraph, how many different thoughts crossed thru your mind? Doesn't the same thing happen to a writer, regardless of how absorbed he is in what he is writing? As his fingers move his pen or pencil or type out his words on typewriter or word processor, his mind wanders, and during those wanderings he has no control over, his words come out somehow different than they were originally intended. Therefore, what he writes is not what he had planned on writing. It has changed, mutated and become something different even though in many cases the intent has remained the same, the words have not stayed the same. Hell, in some cases the entire concept of a single sentence has mutated beyond what he had actually started to create.

Now, with this thought in mind, does it occur to you at all that what we are reading and in sometimes paying big bucks for isn't what had started off at its inception and we are reading merely a partial form of an originally intended work? So, are we paying a partial price of this piece of mutated literature because it isn't what was intended at its inception or are we being overcharged? Or, for that matter, is what we are reading better than originally planned and we're paying a premium on top or it's original intended price?

So, now that I've expunged this theory of mine, which I think is actually a matter of fact moreso than it is a theory, did I actually get it explained to you the way I had intended to or are you merely reading a mutated form of what I was trying to explain to you? The answer has to be obvious to you if you've read every word up to this point.

So consider now, as you continue to read these words and your mind continues to travel from thought to thought which you have no control over, consider that every great book you've ever read, every poem you've ever been fascinated with or even an article out of a newspaper or magazine is indeed NOT what the author began writing but rather is a mutated form of what it was supposed to be and not at all what it was going to be when started.

Mind boggling to say the least, or maybe because of its appearance here it should be considered mind-blogging!! And try and consider even further that what you just read, every single word, sentence and paragraph was actually NOT what it had originally set out to be. This even further boggles the mind if you ponder it long enough.

With that being said and for those of you who made it thru this entire blog, thanks for reading probably, oh, I don't know, maybe 70% of what I had intended to write to begin with. Or actually, maybe it was more like 106%, I can't be sure, because my mind was wandering while I was writing this and I can't be exactly sure at this point.

Can you?

Actually, this came out better than what I had originally written last night.

Or at least I think it did, I can't be sure because it didn't actually stay the same as I wrote it down....


Monday, October 10, 2005

A Satisfying Emptiness

A journey into words unfolds
As I try to bring into the light
The hurt and the very
Kept hidden in my heart for so many years.

We shared a special closeness
that was foreshadowed by an intense
Emotional unrest on your part
And I watched as the years went by
And you did your mental damage
Time and time again
To the seed
I had nurtured.

As the years rolled by us
You kept yourself and those in your life
Continually in our hearts
Yet all the while continuing to
The evil spirit of animosity
Towards one so special in my heart.

Like a weak-willed soul, I tried to look past
This idiosynchrisy and try and acheive
An acceptance
In an effort to hold onto
This bond that had held us together
For so very, very long.

As happens in life
The catalyst that held this heavy weight
Between us, bore down with a burden
That required nothing of you
Yet you seized the moment
And in a fit of glory shared only by
You fired it directly like an arrow
Into mine and my soulmate's hearts
Leaving a gaping wound in us both
Relishing in the orgasm of your self-fulfillment.

You have driven the final wedge, the final blow, and the ultimate
Exit of our bond.
As you live your life
As a legend
In your own mind
I hope this fulfillment of self-serving
Has been worth the price it has

You have become nothing in our hearts and
Nothing in our lives.
Yet I doubt you feel any loss
Because in your life
You only need to be fulfilled by yourself.

And you have always done that so very

Saturday, October 08, 2005

and the purpose of this is?

Yes, it's already happened to me on a few occasions, and as I browse around different blogs I notice an increasing number of cases of spam being left in the comments section. Even using the precautions blogger has set up, it still a case of someone barging in on your space and taking it up with useless and worthless tripe after you've taken a piece of yourself and left in down in words. Obviously the first course of action is to never, and I mean NEVER travel to the spam site that info has been left behind for. Secondly, promise yourself to never under any circumstance buy from any one of these spammers. Thirdly, I think blogger should give us the means to irradicate same said spammers from trashing up our blogs. The present method does no good.

Now, with that said and me feeling a bit relieved of spam induced tension, I'm off to Indiana Downs for my first visit to the world of horse racing.

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Two Glorious Weeks

As I make this latest entry, my wife and I have started our favorite two weeks of the year, namely our October vacation. Even though our travel plans don't include any out of state travel this year, we still have plans and are going to be doing the best to renew our relationship with each other for the next couple of weeks.

I received disturbing news this last Friday when medical tests have shown that I have not only carpal tunnel syndrome in both arms, but I have degenerative arthritis of the spine. I guess this means I'm going to have to adapt my lifestyle somewhat, but other than that, I plan on being the same guy I've always been. I must admit it's harder to sit at the computer now and make these entries, but I still feel the need to release these words...

Anyway, two wonderful weeks of vacation lay before us, two romantic getaways are planned and our first trip to Indiana Downs also await us. Though the fall colors are a bit late arriving this year, you can be assured we'll be making a few sightseeing trips as well.

This will probably be my last post for the next couple of weeks, so until I return to the real world after vacation, let me just say that I will be back shortly after some badly needed R and R.

As always, I wish each of you Peace!

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Cold Beans Don't Hit Me

Your words, empty of truth
they promise so much yet deliver so

You profess such alliegance
You deliver only lies

I gave you the essence of my being
I was there for you
When Mother Earth left you alone and

In return
You gave me emptiness
An empty heart
An uncaring soul
Which you still deliver without
Pause and without any

Each time I think you are reaching out
To me
I find you continue to live the lies
You have lived thoughout your
Yet try and blame on the one you
try and pass off as

Your phonyness
Is only emplefied
By your lying heart and
Your uncaring soul

You've had the chance on occasion
to fool with my heart
But now, my elaborate fool
You get the chance never again

Lie to others but leave me alone
the truth could literally bite you on the ass
And you wouldn't feel a thing
Much like I feel with your words now
After over three decades