Saturday, December 31, 2011

I So Want To Be Wrong This Time

There are times when I get feelings and so much of the time those feelings have basis and purpose.

Back in late 2007 or 2008 I wrote a blog and posted it regarding our nation's economy and gas prices and how I felt we were on the tip of having the worst set back economically since the Great Depression.

A few months later, exactly what I thought would happen, did.

Since that time, slowly, but surely, our economy has been trying to rebound.

The mistake that the oil companies made back then was that prices rose too fast and the economic state of our nation rebelled.

This time, however, the changes have been suttle. Eight cents here, twenty cents there, back them down a nickel, and people tend to not notice what's happening.

Looking at gas prices as we close out this year and where they are should frighten the hell out of any clear thinking American.

The economic death knell is sounding again, but it's a quiet knell this time, and people aren't seeming to notice it as much.

But it's sounding, and it's coming, folks, it's coming.

Gas prices are going to head right back up to the mid $4 range this year, and probably be even closer to $5. We are getting ready to fall back economically, and though the oil companies think they've got a handle on it this time, trust me, they don't. They are messing with the very core of our nation's economy once again, and maybe this time, just maybe, they will succeed is driving us into economic oblivion.

If people can't afford to buy gas, they quit driving as much as they can. They quit driving, they put less miles on vehicles, less miles, no reason to buy a new vehicle. New vehicle sales drop, production of new vehicles drops. Production drops, companies that provide goods to the auto industry cut production, workers aren't needed. People lose jobs, income drops, no money being spent, government once again spends billions more in unemployment benefits and the national debt continues to rise.

Gloomy picture, isn't it?

Worst of all, it's coming once again folks, and the idiots in control of our nation are going to sit back and do NOTHING about it, because, it's not going to affect them as much as it is you and me.

Hmmm, it's an election year, so many of those who are in control of Congress are going to do everything they can to make the nation's leader look bad in an effort to get him voted out, regardless of what it does to our nation as a whole.

And the worst part of it all is that it will succeed somewhat, and the idiots that put these idiots in Congress will probably go back to the polls and give them the opportunity to do it to us all once again.

Pass the vaseline, please!

I hope and pray that I am wrong, but I don't think so, and I think it's just a matter of time that 2008 will seem like a great year considering where we are headed.

Wake up America, before it's too late.

The clock is ticking and time is indeed running out.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


For the first time ever in my life, I woke up alone on Christmas morning. Peggy spent the night at the hospital in Richmond to be with her Dad. It was a strange feeling, and one I never, ever hope to have to go thru again.

Christmas morning, after I ate a quick breakfast, I made the drive to Richmond as well, all 54 miles of it, and I spent the morning and about half the afternoon sitting in the cafeteria reading my Kindle, while Peggy and her sister spent time with their Dad.

Later on during Christmas Day, her Dad was moved into a regular room.

Peggy's Mom spent her Christmas Day in Methodist Hospital in Indy, recuperating from surgery to repair her broken leg while tests were going on to find out where she was losing blood and also to treat an embolism on her lung.

Her grandmother spent Christmas also in Methodist being treated for a bowel obstruction.

I left Reid Hospital later Christmas afternoon and Peggy left about 90 minutes after me. We celebrated Christmas, finally, between 8:30 and 9PM Christmas night. We stretched it out and finished upwrapping gifts to each other between 10 and 10:30.

The day after Christmas, Peggy and her sister again headed up to the hospital in Richmond as they once again began trying to use the feeding tube that had aspirated on Christmas Eve and put Roy back in ICU. They had to make decisions regarding treatment for Roy should the tube aspirate again, which thankfully did not.

Yesterday, Roy was transferred from Reid to Millers' Merry Manor in Rushville, eliminating that long drive each day to Richmond. Last night Roy was laughing and acting like a different person. While he is still paralyzed and cannot talk, he's acting much more like himself and his sense of humor seems to slowly be coming back.

This morning, Peggy's grandmother was released from Methodist and sent home, the treatment for her bowel obstruction a success.

Late this afternoon, Peggy's Mom was transferred out of Methodist, also to Millers' in Rushville. So, everyone is back in Rushville for the time being, and hopefully things are going to start getting better for everyone.

Roy will be undergoing intense therapy to help him regain his speech and his mobility.

Sue will be undergoing therapy on her leg so she can begin using it again.

I am so thankful that everything seems to be going well right now. Only time will tell for each of them, but for now, things are better than they have been for over 2 weeks.

As 2011 draws to a close, I thank each of you, my Faithful Few for hanging in there with me for another year. I hope next year the blogs get better and you find the page interesting and fun to visit and check back with.

Hold those you love near to you and try and get alone, because you never know just how much time you will have with anyone, and the relationships you have with everyone are so important.

I've had a lot of personal losses with friends and family this year, and I truly hope 2012 is a much better year in that regard.

Richest wishes and blessings are sent to you all for a most wonderful and prosperous 2012. I wish you happiness and peace, as always.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Smile Source

Like the pulsating
Of a synapse,
The detonating impulse
Powered into his heart,
Driving blindly forth
And filling his soul
With a depth
Of convoluted emotion
That caused tears
To stream down his cheeks
As his lips pulled back
Into a smile
That refused to leave
His face.
Had done this.
He smiled even wider.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Not What I Was Expecting

For the first time in 33 years, I was looking forward to a different kind of Christmas season. No longer working for the post office, I thought this would be a totally enjoyable Christmas season.

One thing for sure, it's going to be different. There will be parts that will be enjoyable, I know, but everything leading up to it has been totally unexpected.

My earlier blog regarding my father in law was just the beginning, Faithful Few.

Roy has been transferred to a different hospital, another 50 minutes away. My cold that has been holding on and refusing to let go has kept me from being able to visit with him, but with him already having pneumonia, I knew it best to keep away.

Earlier this week, Monday if my memory is correct, and I'll have to assume for the moment that it is, my mother-in-law, who has been divorced from Roy for 46 years, fell after delivering an Avon customer's order and broke her leg. This was the same leg she had a knee replacement in a short while back. She was taken to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis and underwent surgery to repair the break and have a metal rod put in her leg.

She comes thru surgery fine, and during a chest x-ray Tuesday morning, they discover that she has an embolism on her lung, so, she is now on medication for that, has been receiving blood tranfusions, and was told that she won't be out of the hospital until after Christmas.

As she is under the knife Monday evening and getting the necessary surgery on her leg, her mother, Peggy's grandmother, is rushed to Methodist Hospital (yes, the same one) with a bowel blockage. She went thru total hell with this back in June, and after two surgeries, is now suffering the same symptons all over again.

So, indeed, this is going to be a very unique Christmas season for us, but nothing at all like the Christmas season I was thinking it was going to be. Each time the phone rings right now, I dread answering it for fear something else has gone wrong.

Anyway, not meaning to cry, piss and moan, but this is going to be the most unusual Christmas we have ever had. Hopefully, when all is said and done, the good Lord will grant a complete and thorough healing to them all.

It appears as I write this that sometime in the near future, barring any other complications, Peggy's Mom and Dad, who divorced 46 years earlier, will probably be doing rehab in the same nursing home. How ironic.

In case this is my last entry before the Christmas holiday, I will take just a moment and wish each of you all a very Merry Christmas and our Lord's richest and abundant blessings to you all. I hope each and everyone of you has the best Christmas ever.

And if you could be so kind, please keep Peggy and myself in your prayers as well, and please mention Roy, Sue and Mary as well, and ask the Lord to bless them all with a total and complete healing.

Merry Christmas, 2011, to all of my Faithful Few.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011


empty, meaningless words,
void of emotion
trail of insipid vegetation
spewing behind them
a deadening art of being,
soft heartedly spewing forth
bits of bitterness
savoring the stinging
of insincere tears,
releasing nothing more than
camouflaged emotions
aiding only the narcissism
of their true intent.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


shocking and awakening,
the dark,
continually asking,
and so it shall continue
into another life,
as the next flash


Thru his fingers
Like water
She ran
Remaining out of his grasp
But leaving behind
A wet memory
And a slickness
As black as the night
As obtainable
In substance
Much like a vapor

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Private Interlude

She calls upon her legion
In the night,
The blue princess
Brings forth the subtle
That cry out for her
That which only she can fulfill.
The nectar of simplicity
Bears fruit
And allows the breezes
Of intoxication
To pour itself out,
The quiet yet starving soul
As she awakens his tired soul
And brings the moonlight
Into view
As he searches for her
Sensing her
And realizing
How close indeed she is,
She sees him
As no one else does,
Stripped of his facade
And standing naked before her
His disguise gone
Cast aside,
Relishing in the electricity
Of her aura.

Friday, December 16, 2011


Earlier this week my father in law had a massive stroke. It was a while before he was found, but when he was found luckily he was still alive and breathing.

He is in the hospital now, in guarded condition, and he has a veritable plethora of problems going on. Pneumonia, heart issues, paralysis, kidney issues, etc.

He's a widower, so he spent a lot of time after his stroke without medical attention, and he was extremely dehydrated when he was taken to the hospital.

All in all, his prognosis is not good, but we're clinging to faith that he will pull thru this and all that lies ahead of him.

He has a long road of recovery ahead of him, should he survive this.

Those of you, my Faithful Few, that read my blog regularly, I ask you for your prayers for him, that he not only survive this stroke, but that he make a full and complete recovery.

Those of you who aren't one of my Faithful Few, I ask the same of you.

The power of prayer is a truly amazing thing, and right now, Roy needs all the prayers he can get.


Sunday, December 11, 2011

It Feels Strange, But I Like It

What a strange feeling it is this year to be able to sit back and leisurely enjoy the Christmas season without all the fanfare and stress of work. I stopped by my old work stomping grounds a couple of weeks ago and it was indeed a strange feeling, not to have to get all up in the work end of it. It was good to see a few of my co-workers as well.

My only trip back to the post office this year will probably be to pick up a few Christmas stamps when I mail the cards, but otherwise, I don't think I'll be heading back there anytime soon.

A very busy week lies ahead for my former co workers this week and part of the next one, and I know they are up the challenge. It just seems strange that for the first time in 33 years I won't be partaking of the job of getting things from here to there for everyone.

But, it's a feeling I believe I'll be getting used to and enjoying...

Yes, retirement does indeed have its benefits.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Rest In Peace, Pops!

Today marked the 100th anniversary of my dad's birthday.

About fifteen minutes ago I was notified that a good friend of mine, who at one time many years ago was probably my best friend, passed away this morning.

The picture above was taken at my surprise retirement party on October 1st, which would have been my mom's 98th birthday, had she lived.

David W. Sailor, known to many as either "Butch" or "Pops," was one of those friends who had drifted away over the years, and while we weren't strangers by any means, we only saw each other a half dozen times a year or so, whereas, 30 years ago, we probably got together at least once a week if not more.

My friend, I will so miss you, your friendship, your laugh and your crazy sense of humor. You were a friend to so many. It's hard to imagine you are gone.

At least now, you're not suffering and your pain is gone.

This world will not be the same, ever again, without you in it.

Godspeed, Pops!

Saturday, December 03, 2011


thoughts of confusion
an absence of answers
and the trolls of civilization
bringing multitudes
of evil
upon lost souls
for wanton reasons
of lust
and vile
i shake my head
and walk away
with still no answers
and a loss of reason
as tears of pity
and the confusion

Thursday, December 01, 2011

A Viewing

Man's inhumanity to man...
Such a waste of time
Such a waste of emotion
Such a waste of life.
Man's inhumanity to man...
Alive and well,

Monday, November 28, 2011


The ultimate product
Of being human
Is Death.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thanksgiving, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Today I'm thankful for my family and for the way I was raised, for my darling and crazy sister Marita, for the career I had working at the Rushville Post Office and making so many good friends over the years, for my love of music and the chance to share music with so many each year at the Summer Concert Series, and for the love of my life and the woman who has unmercifully put up with me for nearly 35 years, my darling wife Peggy Sue. How wonderful to live in a nation where we can freely speak about how we feel and have the chance to let freedom ring each and everyday. I'm also thankful for each and everyone of you, my friends, my Faithful Few. You make my journey thru this thing called life more rewarding each day you are all a part of it. Enjoy your day, everyone, and be happy today and always!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Jim Morrison - The Severed Garden

A very good friend shared this with me today when my spirit seems a little down, and as usual the words of Jim Morrison have elevated my mood and put a half smile on my face. Rock on Jim! And thanks, Brian, one of my Faithful Few!

I'm Me, Simply Me, And That's All I'm Ever Gonna Be

My ideals and philosophies may not be the same as yours, but I accept you for who you are and I never, ever try and change you and ask you to be anyone other than who you are. Why is it so many that know me put me down, tell me that everything I believe and stand for is wrong and do everything they can to belittle me and try and hurt my feelings? I'm who I am, I'm not changing and I only ask that you grant me the same courtesies I grant to you and let me be who I am without fear of persecution.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Yes Indeed, Number Three!

In one of the most thrilling Sprint Cup races I have personally ever watched, Tony Stewart did exactly what he needed to do today and won his third Sprint Cup Championship.

In a thrilling race, that could have only awarded one of two people the championship, Tony tied Carl Edwards in points and won the title by having the most wins this season. He and Carl finished first and second in the race.

The final 40 laps saw both drivers doing everything they could to win the race, but Tony had the car that was the class of the field and once he got the lead, he never looked back. A couple of times that lead was a fraction of a second, but Tony's skill behind the wheel and a gamble saving fuel in the pits earlier paid off in the final outcome of the race.

This race was truly exciting, and I personally watched the last eleven laps standing in my living room and staring at the television until the checkered flag was waved.

Carl Edwards, ever the class act and great sportsman that he is, was the first person to walk up to Tony's car and reach in and not only shake his hand, but give him his heartiest congratulations. He also told Tony that he hoped it came down just like this next year between the two of them and that they could battle for the championship once again.

And now, until February, no races on the weekends, which always seems to leave a void in my life. However, this year, I do believe I will turn my attention to college basketball, something I've never really followed until this past March when I was home during March Madness recovering from surgery.

Congratulations once again to my favorite Nascar driver, Tony Stewart, the 2011 Sprint Cup Champion!

Number Three?

This afternoon, Nascar's Sprint Cup Series finale takes place at Homestead-Miami, Florida, and the Sprint Cup Champion will be crowned.

It's down to two of the most deserving drivers in Nascar: Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart.

Without question, since I personally know Tony and have been a fan of his way back to when he was driving 3/4 midgets, I'm going to be pulling for him to win his third championship, his first as an owner-driver. I'm a Chevy man, so naturally, since Tony drives a Chevy, that's another reason to be pulling for him.

Carl Edwards, a very nice young man and a very capable and talented driver and a very good sportsman is leading Tony as they start today's race by a mere 3 points.
Carl, while I like him as an individual and as a driver, drives a Ford. Okay, I totally hate Fords, and since owning a brand new Ford back in 1976 that had an engine defect that Ford wouldn't stand behind, I have sworn I would never own another one. So for that reason, I really would rather not see Carl win.

Also, Carl drives for Jack Rousch. I'm not a fan of Jack's, either, so there's yet another reason to hope that Carl doesn't win.

However, they are both very deserving of a win today and to win the championship, and it another six hours or so, it will have all been decided.

I'm not sure who the winner will be, I will truly be happy either way, I would just be a lot more satisfied if the winner of the Cup would be Tony Stewart.

And then, my sights will turn to February and the return of the Nascar season when the Daytona 500 premiers the 2012 season on February 26th.

For now, come on Tony!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Life Getting Better

As the cold winds blow
And the last remaining leaves
Blow to the ground
And escape on the current
Of rushing air
He stands looking to the future
Smiling and knowing
That the light he sees rising
Is the happiness that lies ahead
From the decisions
He has made.
Those many hours
Those many years
He kept his nose
To the proverbial grindstone
And now
With his time being his own
He sees nothing
But glorious days ahead
Despite a few bumps in the road.
Life is just
After nearly
Sixty years.

Friday, November 18, 2011


As we move closer and closer to the ends of time, I'm thankful the sand in my hourglass has already hardened.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Arcing upward
Under control
Spreading outward
Amassing energy
Splitting apart
Blazing forth

As If Was Will

Night's mistress,
Cloaked in her deep blue
Glides upon the
Night air
And infects the disease of
Into the timid hearts of
Confusing him
Perplexing him
In an attempt to overthrow
And take control
Like a
For she is many
And refuses to run
Into the river
And drown.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Time continues to fly by
Taking with it
All that we can never get back
Or hope to.
Each minute that goes by
Travels infinitely away
And out of our
Almost as if in jest.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Speak, Rollover, Turn A Page?

Sometimes it's hard to get an old dog to do new tricks, and it is likewise hard to get someone of nearly 60 years of age to get with all the new high tech things that are available today.

Anyone who knows the author of this blogpage, knows just how much I love to read and if you come into my home you will see a vast collection of books that continues to get larger and larger each year. So large, in fact, some of my older books that are not of my favorite authors are now sitting in boxes, still taking up space, but just not out where anyone can see them.

A friend of mine a couple of years ago got a Kindle, first generation, and told me what a great invention it was and how badly I needed to get one of my own. Well, to me, I have always said I would rather have that book in my hands and be able to turn the pages forward and backward to my own liking and not be dependent on a piece of electronics to do my reading. There's something about holding that author's words in a volume of paper pages, bound and in a nice jacket that has always appealed to me.

When I retired, my co workers took up a collection for me and the gal who collected the money started to get me a Kindle since she knew how much I liked to read, but decided since there are now so many variations available, to get me a gift certificate to Amazon and let me spend the money as I saw fit.

I did some investigating, and I decided since her original intent was to get me a Kindle, I would do just exactly that. So, a couple of weeks ago, I went online to Amazon and I preordered a new Kindle Touch, which becomes available on November 21. Mine will ship on that day and I should have it either the 22nd or 23rd.

When you consider this little gadget is about the size of a Readers Digest magazine and will hold 3,000 books, it's mind boggling. If I brought another 3,000 actual books into this home I would have to build a room addition on to have room for that many books. To even consider that kind of technology makes me dizzy, but I have decided to see how much I can accept this kind of change and see if I can adapt to reading off of a Kindle instead of out of a book.

I even have enough money left on my certificate that I can load up at least 7 to 10 more books, depending on prices. With winter coming on and me having much more time at home now, I have a feeling my new Kindle Touch will be arriving at just the right time.

I guess we'll see if this old dog can indeed be taught a few new tricks.

I have a feeling he just might be ready for a few!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Changes Underway

As I now move on in this new phase in my life called "retirement," I have vowed to myself not to make many of the same mistakes in my life that have haunted me in the past.

I don't see that as being a problem since each time I make one of those old mistakes the end result is always the same.

So far, six weeks into retirement, all I can say is that I love this new chapter in my life and all that it has given me thus far.

With all my new duties here at home, I have now found time and energy to do so many of the things I didn't have time or energy to enjoy before. That, in itself, makes this new life worthwhile.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Not Quite Hidden But Yet

Something interesting exists within this post, quite small, yet if looking one can easily find it. Have you figured it out?

Monday, October 31, 2011

The Doors - Summer's Almost Gone

This song comes to mind every year at this time. Sounds a bit melancholy, but personally, I love the fall of year, and I listen to this song, not as a regretful tune, but a welcoming tune to my most favorite season of the year.

The Search Continues

A certain sadness lies within me as I search to find within me that one great poem, that one great story, that one great piece of writing that will release me from the shackles that imprison me as a writer.

Silent Shroud

Moments forgotten
Words unspoken
Majestic wizard
Casts the spell
Bringing the harpie
To her knees
With one wide and silent
Swoop of the emotional
Remnants of a tattered

Saturday, October 29, 2011


The choir director's silver baton
High stuffed hat
Droplets of spittle
Flying from the puckered lips
Arms beating drums in three quarter time
The sweet high pitched tones
Created by the vibrating reeds
In glorious
Marching feet.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Stout appreciates his years of service, friends

Stout appreciates his years of service, friends


Sometimes during the trials of life
You work at something
Only to discover
You are working
T'is best to move on
Stand alone
And direct your
Into new directions
Which in reality
Are the old ones.
Moving forward
Is actually moving backward
To those things that are stable.

Monday, October 24, 2011

White Rose

He wanted so much to just let her know
How she had taken such a place in his heart
He needed a token to show her that love
Yet he hadn't figured out how to start.

His letters told her of the love that he had
And the depth of the love that he felt.
Yet he needed to show her in a small special way
How deep within his heart she now dwelt.

Through her words he discovered the things that she loved
And carefully he searched and he chose
To send her a gift that she held close to her heart
And that gift was a single white rose.

The day it arrived she knew in her heart
That the love that he felt was so true
That she let herself feel for the first time in years
Deepening love for the man she barely knew.

Though the promises they made to each other weren't kept
Their love for each other stayed strong
Across all the miles that divided the two
Their love was forever lifelong.

And years down the road as time fleeted by
And their separate lives went on by
The man who was older than the woman by ten years
Eventually lay down to die.

At the graveyard the day the man was laid to his rest
A gift was found lying on his coffin which shows
That an undying love is a true special thing,
On his coffin lay a single white rose.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Autumn 2011

This year as my favorite season enters the end of its first third, I am amazed at how different I view it as I don't have to return to work after a two week vacation like I normally do.

This year, I continue to have no schedule and am able to enjoy more of the autumn cooler temperatures and fall colors. This year I feel more alive than I normally do, and that's just the beginning, hopefully.

Bloodwork this past week revealed that my blood sugar is in the danger catergory, signaling that I could be possibly becoming diabetic. So, for the past several days I have carefully watched my sugar intake, cut back on calories and exercised. I prepare now for additional bloodwork this Tuesday morning. If the the blood sugar is down, things are good. If the blood sugar remains elevated, I've been warned oral insulin is a real possibility.

I remain hopeful that things will be much better for me when I get the results of my bloodwork this week. Hopefully my life can resume, with a new awareness about what I can allow myself to eat and drink regularly.

Time will tell.

Friday, October 21, 2011


A lead bullet
Three buckeyes
Nail clippers
Car keys
Red bandana handkerchief
Assorted change
Broken mirrored brush
Balls of lint
A leather wallet.
All that was left
Was in the dead man's pockets,.
His life picked clean
His identity
The love in his heart
Along with his blood.
Glasses at his side
Body left abandoned
As the spirit
Whisked away
On the currents of the

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Handing Over The Reins

Another task that I undertook on September 30th was handing the reins and tasks of my job over to three of my co-workers, Larry, Jane and Brittney. The picture of us together is kind of heartwarming to me because it shows me with a great group of clerks who will be taking over for me, as I will probably be the last full time window clerk our office ever has.

I like the picture of me standing there alone, simply because it was indeed the LAST time I stood at the service counter. This was my work station full time since 1984, and I had stood there off and on since 1979 while I was part time.

I have made so many friends at this counter over all those decades and some of them have become very close and personal friends as well. My emotions on leaving have been tumultous, but I leave the job with my head held high, always striving to give the best of myself to each person that came into the office.

This job has been my life for over half my life and I leave it smiling, knowing I did the best I could do most days.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

September 30th, October 1, 2011

Two recent, very emotional days for me, as I worked my last day at the Rushville Post Office and my co-workers celebrated with me as I received my retirement certificate and was presented with a very nice gift of a gift certificate to that my co-workers chipped in and got for me. Hard as I tried, I couldn't keep my emotions in check as I tried to make a short speech about my years at the post office.

In essence, the average span of days a human being spends on this earth number approximately 22,000. My career at the post office spanned a total of 11,954 days. Hard to imagine, but over half my life was spent in this position of employment. Clocking out that day brought on more emotions as I realized I had done my last work for United States Postal Service, over a span of years I am so proud to have served.

On the next night, over 80 people came to a surprise retirement party my wonderful sister and her husband threw for me. More gifts, cards and just general good fellowship greeted me this evening. I was more than blessed with this party and this turnout, I was truly humbled.

What more can I say about these two days?

Mere words are not enough.

I hope these four pictures, two from each day, speak for themselves.

George Burns - I Wish I Was Eighteen Again

There's so much truth in the lyrics to this song, not to mention a really good performance by George himself.

Friday, October 14, 2011

喜多郎 Kitaro - Koi from Best Of Kitaro DVD 2001

Be sure to turn off the jukebox on the right and listen to this wondrous music. Kitaro will be remembered centuries from now as a total musical genius.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Guilty as charged
Tried without a jury
Found guilty
And sentenced
Without so much as
A word of defense.
Judgement decided,
Banished and branded
No questions
Guilty by interpretation
Of the judge.

Fair enough!

Monday, October 10, 2011

It's A New Dawn

The sun rose again this morning,
Casting shadows
But leaving no doubts behind
As the morning dew began its process
Of drying out,
A rooster crowed off in the distance
Signaling the start
Of a new day
A new dawn
And promises
Of less complications

Thursday, September 29, 2011

One Final Day

I waited on my final customer today at the Rushville Post Office. Right at 4PM on the dot, a nice young lady handed me two letters, asked me two questions and then asked if this was my last day at work.

I told her it was my last day on the window and she would no doubt be my last customer, EVER!

And she was.

Now, tomorrow lies ahead, my final cash audit, turning in my keys, my government ID and then a little fellowship with my fellow workers.

I'm still in a bit of disbelief that it's all over in less than 24 hours from now.

I'm elated, morose, happy, sad, excited and worried.

All at the same time.

Somebody pinch me, I don't think this is really happening to me!~

Friday, September 23, 2011

The Gathered

the quiet night
awakened by the scream
of the unknown,
grew darker
to hide the secrets
that lay beyond sight
and gathered the gloom
to surround itself
as the journey into Oblivion

Sunday, September 18, 2011

The Angel Song -- SRC Milestones

This song was amazing at its time and still, all these years later, it still invokes amazing feelings in my heart as I listen to it. SRC was a band ahead of their time.

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Countdown Is On!

A new career starts for me in just 18 days.

I'm retiring from my career with the U S Postal Service that began way back in 1979.

On September 30th, 2011, that will all come to an end as I clock in and out at the Rushville Post Office for the very last time. I plan to write more on my 32 plus years at the Post Office at another time.

Today, I'm writing about my career change.

On October 1st I will begin my new career as a househusband. While to some that may sound funny, it's actually something I am looking forward to with great anticipation.

It will be a complete change of pace for me, and it will begin a phase of my life in which I start paying my wife of over 33 years back. For all the years we have been married, she has been chief cook and bottle washer. She's taken care of all the meals, all the cooking and cleaning, and the laundry.

On October 1st, I plan on taking as much of that off her as I can.

It will give me a chance to renew my culinary skills, which, frankly, I haven't used much for a long, long time. I'm looking forward to setting back to work creating meals and taking care of our home while Peggy continues to go work for a few more years.

I've got a lot to learn about managing my time here at home, and making sure things are done and done on a regular schedule. I'm looking forward to putting the meals on the table and taking as much of the household load off her as I can.

I also plan on working out regularly and committing to losing weight and getting myself into much better shape physically.

While they may sound dull to many, to me, it sounds like the greatest challenge I can undertake right now, and I can't wait for this new phase in my life to begin.

Eighteen days and counting.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Steppenwolf - Snowblind Friend

Hoyt Axton wrote two songs that Steppenwolf recorded. The Pusher was the first.

Snowblind Friend was the second.

This is a video Steppenwolf recorded in the studio when they recorded Snowblind Friend. Such amazing lyrics and a truly stellar and kozmic performance of this truly terrific song. Hope you enjoy it!

And as always, before you play it, don't forget to turn off the jukebox on the right side of the page, otherwise you'll be listening to two songs.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Faze Nine

An unknown face
Staring back at me
From this window where
I used to see myself
Staring back at me.
Clouds of darkness
Taking my memories,
Just out of my reach,
Not quite able to grasp
Or remember.
Vertigo, sweet, sweet
My constant companion now,
Staying with me
And never releasing her hold.
Who is this stranger
In the window,
And why is he staring at me
With confusion upon his face?

Friday, August 19, 2011

Louder Than Words

Silence speaks so loudly,
It's as if a cannon is going off
And I'm the only one who hears it,
But understands the pain
That same soundless shot produces,
And reminds me
That once again
Silence is a reminder
Of what once was
Can never be

Deafening silence.

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Sometimes things happen that you simply can't understand the reason why.

Sometimes it's hard to understand why things are allowed to happen that hurt so many.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that we aren't supposed to question why things happen like they do.

Right now, I'm having trouble with all of this, and I can simply just think of one word, over and over again, that word echoing over and over again in my mind...


Monday, July 18, 2011

Snowflake's New Life

Souls are not limited to just people. I truly believe this.

I believe animals have souls too, because, to me, it makes sense that this is where their personalities come from.

I also believe those souls go to Heaven.

This being the case, I truly believe right now that our 17 year old cat Snowflake is running in Heaven right now and hearing for the very first time. I would also like to think she is enjoying that.

Her eyes are no longer running, the sore that grew on her right eye is gone and she's seeing better than she ever did before.

I also believe she's waiting on all of us to join her.

In a little while, Snowflake, we'll be joining you.

For now, enjoy your new home and all those things you are now blessed with.

We love and miss you, pretty kitty!

Sunday, July 17, 2011


Like falling snow
Your world was quiet
And beautiful
You've brought that same
Peace and stillness
Into our lives
Giving us seventeen
Years of companionship
And love
And teaching us
That it's not the things
You hear
That give life its
But the things that you don't hear.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Faze Eight

Hands away,
Hands off of me
Hands off my body
Hands off my mind.
Out of my sight
Out of my mind
Out of my way
I'm going this one

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Faze Seven

Deeper than the ocean
And ten times as unpredicatable.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

Forty Years

40 years ago
The flame died out
We are lead to believe,
40 years of silence,
40 years no Mr Mojo Risin',
40 years the shaman
Took his leave
And found his solitude,
His freedom

Where did you really go, Jim?

Friday, July 01, 2011

Faze Six

Inside his mind
The impending storm
Began to gather
Swirling with the invisible
Of an approaching

Time was growing short.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Faze Five/One

This is how the mind goes.
This is how the mind goes.

As it weakens
The tormentor gains his strength
The power flows into him,
And the will grows,
Mutating and flourishing,
Control slowly
Like a baton.

Yet, ever moving forward,
This is how the mind goes.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Faze Four

The beast hath loosed himself,
His eyes,
Gazing at me
The mirror,
The color changed and
The smile, upturned
Wicked and almost laughing,
The brow furrowed
Mocking the ages,
Confusing the trusting,

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Faze Three

Thoughts of crystal,
A crown of thorns,
Blue satin flames
Burning ice
And the flutter of wings.
The earth shudders,
The sky, full of crimson clouds,
Flames in the night
As the wings of the eagle
Propel him forth
From the bowels of his prison,
His shackels broken and cast aside.
Forward movement,
And the crack of the sonic boom
As the invasion begins.


you never run alone
for there's someone there beside you
silently cheering you on
and smiling at the victory
knowing full well you could run that distance
because each day of your life
you run a race
and you win each and every day

so run like there's no tomorrow
and smile in the glory
that you have earned


Faze Two

destiny is a myth
created by belief
in a higher power
that is betting you
are a believer


Love, discarded and cast aside
Is picked up by another,
Held close to the heart
And treasured.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Faze One

This is how the mind goes.
This is how the mind goes.

Non Ilusional

stepping sideways
falling thru the cracks
waking up in a world gone mad
tired of the killing
the wars
the greed
and finding out
I was never alseep
To begin with...

e Motion

Like cascading rain,
Falls upon the ground
And is consumed
By an unquenchable thirst.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Awkward In Time

The tidewaters, folding in upon
The echoes on heartbeats
Thumping loudly like a bass drum
In his head
The intense light
As the synapse in the brain
Flashes signals to the captains
Of the body
The opening of the eyes
Revealing two open crevasses
Bottomless in their own pool.
Driving out emotions,
Exiling them from the commonwealth
Of their existence,
Banning them from taking shape,
From nurturing
And bearing seed.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

One Day

There are days each year that most of us dread having to endure for one reason or another.

I have one such day, each year, and today, unfortunately is that day.

I won't go into reasons, I won't wallow in self pity, let's just say for reasons best kept to myself I hate this day each year.

This year is no exception to that rule.

Hopefully, by the grace of God tomorrow will be better.

But for now, today totally sucks.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Stanza Thirty Five

In a crowded room,
I am alone.
Standing with my friends,
laughing, partying
And living the life
Of the carefree,
I am alone.
As I work each day,
As I breathe each day,
As I stand and smile,
Play and imagine,
And live the life
Of a happy man,
I am alone.

In my thoughts,
I am alone.
In my dreams,
Vivid as they are,
I am alone.

As I stand among the masses,
As I walk with the flow of the crowd,
I am alone.

With my arm around the shoulder
Of my comrade,
As we laugh,
As we bond
And as we communicate as two should do,
I am alone.

They smile with me,
They laugh with me,
We work together,
We laugh together,
We struggle thru life's adventures

I am alone.

I don't do being a son
Very well.

I don't do being a brother
So well.

As a friend, I doubt that I
Derserved much bragging.

As a father
I was never given a
Therefore, I was a
Despite my years of
And my years of believing.

I do well.

I do great.

In a crowded life
With no privacy
And with no

I stand alone.

And there,
I shall always

One, in solidarity.

One, with pride.

Who stands,


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Cee Cee James with James Howard

Anyone who knows me, and knows me well, knows that the blues is my favorite genre of music.

Here is an interesting blend of gospel and blues and a totally amazing rendition of my favorite gospel tune ala "The Blues."

Hope you enjoy it!

Saturday, June 11, 2011


A hurt heart is like an open, bleeding wound.
Nothing seems to stop the bleeding,
Nothing seems to stop the pain.
Old wounds can reopen without warning
And the bleeding starts all over again.

Thursday, June 09, 2011

Live By The Levee, June 4, 2011

Last Saturday night, a concert I have waited seven months to arrive, was unfortunately cut short after only seven songs. A threatening storm moved into the Rushville area and caused the cancellation of the Cee Cee James concert I had helped plan since last year.

The seven songs that Cee Cee and her band performed were awesome, and the folks in her band were great to work with. Cee Cee her self was so great, so friendly and so eager to please everyone. It's so easy to be nice to people like her and the band.

Once again this year, WFYI-FM's Matt Socey served as our guest emcee, and those who attended were presented with a hard driving and soulful blues performance. Such a shame to have it cut short.

The general consensus of our board is that since Cee Cee was unable to play her entire two hours, we hope to have her back next year in an effort to have her entire show performed.

I'm certainly hoping that becomes a reality once again.

If you ever get the chance to catch this amazing woman in performance, do so without reservation. She's quite the artist and quite the lady indeed!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Cee Cee James ~ House Of The Blues

This Saturday night, our kick off concert of the 2011 season takes place at Riverside Park when Cee Cee James headlines a night of smoking hot blues. At 7PM, Gordon Bonham and Jes Richmond take the stage for an opening set before Cee Cee takes the stage at 8PM. Plan on being there for a great night of blues. Trust me, this gal delivers with 110% of her soul.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Raceday, 2011

After a breakfast of eggs, fried potatoes and hot ham off the grill and a bottle of Asti Spumante, we are now watching news coverage from the Speedway and awaiting the start of the Indianapolis 500, which we'll listen to on XM radio, since the 500 is blacked out in Indiana.

After the 500, we'll be grilling out and awaiting the start of the Coca Cola 600 from Charlotte.

The beer is iced down, and in an hour or so I'll be making a pitcher of Sangria for Peggy.

All in all, I totally love Raceday each year. We started the morning off with the Grand Prix of Monaco as we finished up our breakfast, and now we await the start of the 500 on the Speedway's 100th anniversary.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Temporary Peace

There is now a space of about two hours before the next huge area of thunderstorms passes thru. This next area of storms has, on the leading edge of it, lightning strikes, 70 - 80 MPH winds and hail. When it passes thru, it's supposed to pass thru very quickly but it could leave behind some really devastating damage.

Hopefully sleep will come quickly tonight and I can sleep thru the worst of it.

It's been quite a night to say the least.


Tornado siren is going off two blocks from my house.

A storm that is producing tornados in its path will be in Arlington in less than fifteen minutes.

This is certainly one wild ass night!


A ver brief, but very intense storm just passed thru Arlington...counterclockwise rotation in the clouds and a very quick half inch of rain(mere minutes, folks) and looking at the weather radar right now, there's more behind it, heading this way and the state of Illinois looks like it is 75% covered with intense storms heading this way.

I hope and pray this night we stay safe and aren't added to that list of areas devastated by this spring's storms and tornados.

I got one picture taken of a huge area of clouds rotating counterclockwise as it passed over our house which I will try and post tomorrow. For now, I'm going to grab a cold can of Coke Zero and try and stay up for few more hours.

This very well could be a long, long night.

Luck Running Out?

I certainly don't want to bring on the bad, but all this strange tornadic weather has made it to Indiana this evening. There are warnings all around us and our sky is turning black right now.

Hoping we make it thru the night.

This looks like one of our worst storms yet...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Getting To Next Weekend

Therapy continues, improvement each day, finally able to sleep in a bed again after many, many weeks, and less than a week away from the Memorial Day holiday weekend.

The Grand Prix of Monaco is next Sunday morning, the Indianapolis 500 takes the green flag at noon on Sunday, and that evening the Coca Cola 600 takes place in Charlotte, NC at Loew's Motor Speedway.

I see grilled steaks, homemade potato salad and other annual favorites on the table for Sunday, and this year, we're going to forego our annual get together with family and friends and spend the entire day on Sunday at home alone, and just unwind for a day and enjoy each other's company as well as the three races that day.

I'll be glad to get the next five days behind me and get to that three day holiday weekend.

Friday, May 20, 2011


...when I write, I write as I feel someone else in different circumstances from my life might be thinking...

I've confused a few people with my "Highway" post.

My mind wanders when I mow, I tend to do some of my "writing" when I mow, and what I posted at that point was not referring to me, so to speak, but how I think "people" sometimes tend to feel when emotions run rampant.

If this was misconstrued by any of my Faithful Few, I sincerely apologize.

Bottle Of Wine was posted to assure you all that the crazy old bald fart known as the Rainbow Demon is still fine, alive and well, never quite sane, but not quite over the edge....


I appreciate the concern, but I am truly okay...

I guess this means I should not even begin to discuss my feelings regarding the Rapture, once again being predicted by the same false prophet who predicted this same event back in 1994...

I know, I know...

My bad!

But shame on ANYONE who believes such tripe!

The end days may be near, but they have also been preached for the last 2,000 years. I tend to believe that when the time is right, it's going to happen, whether you believe in it or not.

But I also believe that NO man will EVER be able to predict the time, the date, or otherwise...

There, I've said more than I meant to say on the subject, but again, false prophets are so damned conniving and they sucker so many people!

Hope you aren't one of them!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Up ahead
I do believe I see
An exit sign
On this highway
Of life.
Hope the ramp
Isn't closed.

Monday, May 16, 2011


holding on to her so tightly
that the very air she did
was for them both
and his heart
which beat so loudly in his chest
beat for them both
two bodies
yet one,
two minds
working as one
the life within them both
was the lifeforce
with which they both retained

Sunday, May 15, 2011


Out of the depths of despair
Out of the trenches of loneliness
He rises and stands
No victory at hand,
No battle to win,
No conflict to settle.
Despair washes him over
And he falls to his knees
And beckons to the heavens above
For an
Yet receives
No reply.

Friday, May 13, 2011


Well, I got praise from Dr Kollias yesterday informing me that I am about two weeks ahead of schedule on my healing, range of motion and of course, pain management.

He asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was busting my ass doing therapy at home and he told me he could tell.

So, I then asked him if he was going to change my restrictions, which brought a smile to his lips and a definite "No!"

He told me that what we are doing is working, so it's time to mess it up. One more month with a two pound weight restriction on my right arm, no overhead work and in two weeks we start adding weights to my therapy exercises.

I can live with that!

Tracy Byrd - The Keeper Of The Stars

the planting

seeds sown
continue to grow
take root
branching out
as they nourish themselves
on the nutrients

to blossom and grow
as they years go by
and they grow bigger
taller and with more
than ever before

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Down For The Count Tonight

Back to see the Doc tomorrow and find out how he thinks I'm progressing.

I think I'm doing quite well, got a long way to go yet, but considering it's been ten weeks today and I'm continuing with home therapy and therapy sessions are now down to one a week, I would hope that is a good indication that I'm progressing quite well.

So, early into work tomorrow and then off the rest of the day for the appointment.

On a sad note, my sister's Mother-In Law passed away Monday and the visitation is tomorrow evening, so I'm heading to the funeral home tomorrow and pay my respects to a woman I've known for 53 years.

Rest in peace, Jean Hawkins Tanner. You were indeed quite a lady!

Monday, May 09, 2011


Sometimes reaching the top isn't enough.

Staying there for period of time and then falling back a bit is disheartening.

Sometimes the way down is like falling into an abyss, with no one there to catch you.

It's even worse when you reached the top and didn't even realize it until that fall begins.

Then you suddenly come awake and realize it on the way down.

As the old song goes:"Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone..."

Sunday, May 08, 2011


I'm adrift in a world
Lost at sea,
There is no land in sight,
There is
No Land.

Friday, May 06, 2011


Well, after a very LONG and tiring and painful week, I can honestly say I made it thru the first week back to work.

I'm exhausted, in pain, but smiling a big smile because I am back in my element and so happy to be seeing my customers again. I am humbled by all the folks who missed me and welcomed me back.

And now, to go snuggle with my new lover, ICE!!! She, and she alone right now, can relieve the pain in my right shoulder.

And I do believe a White Russian or two just might be in my future as well as some fried fresh morel mushrooms!


Monday, May 02, 2011

Whadda Day!

Well, the first day back was pretty much what I thought it would be, plus a bit more, but I don't even want to go into that.

After work today, I drove to a physical therapy session and while at this session, my therapist told me that I went back to work about 2 to 4 weeks sooner than is normal. Do I think I'm pushing it a bit too much? Probably, but I still think it was the right thing to do.

I am totally wiped out tonight, but someone special thought of me today and let me know it...

What more can one ask for?

I just hope tomorrow is a much better day than today was.

But, I'm still smiling, and a lot more now than I was ten minutes ago!

Sunday, May 01, 2011

always and forever

always there
in no small way
out of touch
always there
always felt
in the heart
in the soul


With spent wisdom
And disappearing hope
He moved, slowly towards
His inevitable return
Feeling shunned, downtrodden
And lost.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Untitled Poem, April 30, 2011

I am confused
By the

By the

Worried by loss

So afraid
You might

I'm reassured
As the words

Across the

Those feelings
That we've set

That produce our

The sense of
Loss is

By the music
Our hearts

My soul

As my Angel
Spreads her

Friday, April 29, 2011

Returning To Work On Monday

It's been a long, painful and emotional eight and a half weeks since I last worked. This coming Monday, I will return to work with a new right shoulder, and I'll return knowing that I will be limited by doctor's orders as to what I can exactly do.

This is not new to me, having had shoulder surgery on the left shoulder 11 years ago. However, I am now 11 years older than back then, so I know my progression is going to be a bit different paced. I also won't have my sister working beside me to help me readjust.

I don't know exactly what to expect, but I do know that in the past, our group of workers have always chipped in and helped a fellow worker out. I can only hope that hasn't changed like everything else seems to have done.

I will continue with daily home physical therapy, twice a week appointments with my physical therapist and once a month visits to the surgeon. Will careful monitoring, I should be as good as new come July 2nd.

I just hope getting to July 2nd won't be that big of a venture.

We're short-staffed, restricted by an unrealistic budget and it's a different world than it was 11 years ago.

I'm sure I can do my job with the restrictions I have to follow. I'm sure that certain co-workers will be willing to help me out when the need arises.

I'm hoping new management since 11 years ago is as understanding and willing to help as they were in the past.

We shall see.

In the meantime, I have two days to get the mind set back in the old groove. There will be no vacations to look forward to this year since recovery from this surgery has eaten up ALL my vacation and sick time.

Good Lord willing, before the close of 2011, I will clock out for the final time, if that be His will.

I'm hoping He and I are seeing eye to eye on this one.

This tired, fat old bald fart is ready for quieter days with no one but a Higher Power to answer to.

Hopefully I've earned that, hopefully I deserve that, and hopefully that can be mine before the end of this year.

Now I just have to get thru that first week back to work.

Wish me luck!!!

Patty Loveless(1996.01) - A Thousand Times A Day

Another song that has come to mind that won't get out of my head. Therefore, once again, Faithful Few, I will share it with you. Turn off the jukebox at the right and hit the play button to view the video. The lyrics are COZMIC!!!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Looking Back Today

I hope that when you look back and think
Of those special moments we shared
That a smile finds its way to your lips
And you don't have memories that despair.

You and I shared a difficult time
And we eased each other thru them
We nurtured each other and gave us both hope
During a time full of strife and mayhem.

As the years go by and our thoughts return
To that special time we survived
Those feelings return awakening for a while
And the strong love that was there, despite.

From time to time, when our lives seem distressed
Our thoughts return to that time
And we oft wonder, if things had been different
Would we still be together, or divided.

The past has a way of returning to mind
Tender moments we shared in the past
Yet we somehow remind ourselves of these things
And know in our hearts, they never would last.

Today is today, the past is the past,
And tomorrow we know not what holds.
Yet when we look back, we can smile as we did,
Yet not knowing what our futures beholds.

I now look ahead, to a change in my life
As I know that you also must do
And I hope that you are happy with the moments we shared
I could not have gotten this far without you.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

An Observation

When you're down, feeling bad, and trying to recover, you get told to get better, things will be okay, and we'll help you any way we can after you get back among us.

Then, when it's imminent that you are indeed coming back, an entirely different light comes on and those words that were spoken to you have all but disappeared.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Jesus Christ Superstar 1973 ( Gethsemane / I Only Want to Say ) HD

Such a great musical interpretation of Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. To me this was one of the high points of the rock opera.

etta james I'd Rather Go Blind

Once again, a song comes to mind that I have to share. Don't forget to turn off the jukebox on the right first, then click the play button and listen to Etta James at her best. What a song!!!

Happy Easter, One and All

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. Mark 16:6

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Shit Upon Shit

Time swirls, out of control,
Leaving in its wake no answers
To so many questions,
And the one who asks stands
In the realm of quiet,
No one speaks,
No one talks,
No one cares,
And he wonders why
He even

Solution forthcoming...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

When You're Wrong, You're Wrong

As I found out earlier today, I was indeed wrong about returning to work on April the 18th. When my sling came off yesterday after six weeks, I realized just how much mobility of my right arm I have temporarily lost.

I had a very intense therapy session yesterday and one at home last night, and the ice bag and I have had a reunion of which I'm sure is going to take place twice a day for the next several weeks. Stretching shoulder and arm muscles is NOT without extreme pain.

I realized before I drove home from the therapist yesterday that there was no way I could go back to work on Monday.

At my surgeon appointment this morning I was told two more weeks before I can return to work, and then with a lot of restrictions.

So, another therapy appointment tomorrow and two a week for the next six weeks. Then we evaluate progress and decide if I need more therapy. I'm hoping that will be all it takes. I'm good at doing my home therapy and don't miss a session.

The picture accompanying this entry is a photo of a piece of equipment I am using now at home. It isn't a medieval torture device, although it feels like it could have been at one time. It's a pulley system that is helping stretch my shoulder and arm muscles back into shape.

This little contraption is going to make me good as new. For all the pain it is causing me, it better!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Eric Lindell performs at the Sheridan Opera House in Telluride, Colorado

Turn off the juke box on the right and hit the play button on this really cool tune by Eric Lindell...can't get this song out of my head right now!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

5 1/2 Weeks

It's now been a very long 5 1/2 weeks since surgery.

This Wednesday at 8:15AM, I go to my first physical therapy appointment and should be able to get out of my sling, finally. That's not to say I haven't been doing therapy because I've been doing home therapy since the day following surgery, 7 exercises, 3 times each day. As much as a discomfort that has been, the really tough work now lies ahead of me.

On Thursday morning, I go back to see the surgeon and see how I'm progressing and if I'm ready to go back to work, with restrictions. If I was guessing, my guess would be no, but we shall see what we shall see. He wants me off until early May, but my leave is going to run out soon and I asked him if I could go back April 18th.

Now I'm not so sure I can deal with it that soon.

Like I said, we shall see.

Saturday, April 09, 2011

It Can't Be

He felt it slipping away,
A little at a time,
His mind not quite
The reality of the situation,
The awareness arriving
Moments too late.

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Wave Effect

Cascading outward,
Each wave its own
Separate universe,
Each universe
Sheltering countless worlds.
Of these innumerable
We share the same one,
As if by accident.
The knowledge we
Reveals this is no accident,
This is fate,
This is destiny,
This is life
As it was intended.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


This one, so required,
Seems to eternally evade
My company,
Spending its longer moments
With others, thus avoiding
As the world relishes in
Its presence
I continue the
Ever swirling
And lose what
I might have ever

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


it exists, only in the mind,
for to be truly free
is only a dream,
and i keep waking

Saturday, March 26, 2011


Hands full of nothing
Pockets full of empty
Stagnant thoughts
Impure heart
Decisions awaiting
Shrouded in confusion
Apathy abounding.


imprisoned in this cage called
awaiting to be

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Recovery Update

Forgive me for not adding sooner than I have, but limited to using my left hand when I'm right handed makes this a real chore.

I had a follow up appointment with Dr Kollias yesterday and found out that I had a complete rotator cuff tear and not a partial. The entire tendon was torn.

The doctor removed the dressing, all five incisions are healing nicely, the stitches have been absorbed and there is still some minor swelling. I will be in my sling until April 13th which is the date of my first physical therapy appointment. Five days after that, April 18th, I will return to work with restrictions until July 2nd, when I should be able to return to full duty.

I am continuing with home therapy three times daily and had my exercises increased as well. The doctor is real pleased with my progress in this area, too.

I'm still sleeping sitting in the recliner, which sucks, but trying to lie down is much too painful.

Boredom increases with each passing day.

Peggy continues to be a wonderful and patient nurse but I'm sure I'm testing that patience.

I hate being such a burden.

That's all for now.

My thanks to you all for the personal inquiries and the words of encouragement so many of you have been sending. I cherish each one of those messages and they do indeed help in the healing process.

Thanks for not forgetting about me.

Each one of you mean the world to me and I appreciate your thoughts, prayers and support.

Until next time!

Saturday, March 19, 2011


thousands of miles apart,
yet when I screamed into the
somehow you heard me
and came running...

Friday, March 18, 2011

AHS 3/17/2011

A few shots of what the former Arlington High School looked like at the end of the contractors workday on St Patricks Day. This not only kills my spirit but it makes me feel physically ill. Weather permitting, more shots to follow in the days to come.