The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg Is All But Laid To Rest

I've been saying for years that Nascar wouldn't be content until they killed the goose that laid the golden egg. I believe they have finally done it!

The above picture shows attendance at this past Sunday's Sprint Cup race at Bristol Motor Speedway in Bristol, Tennessee. Considering that this race used to always be a sellout and that people NEVER gave up their tickets, and in most cases willed them to family members after their deaths, to say that attendance was down a bit would be a gross understatement.

A change in the track surfacing and a move to progressive banking has allowed for more side to side racing and less of the old "bump and run" style that Bristol used to be known for.

In consistencies in the handling of rules violators as has been evidenced against the Jimmie Johnson #48 team has also driven a lot of fans away. Chad Knaus, crew chief for the #48, has been caught cheating in various ways in Nascar at least nine times in the past. Last year at Talladega he told his driver, on camera, that if he won the race to make sure he wrecked the back end of the car. Nascar did nothing about this, of course, because this is their only "five times in a row" champion. Sorry, but as many times as this team has been caught cheating, I put no value in a single one of those championships because I truly don't believe any single one of them was won without cheating in some way, shape or form.

At Daytona this year, before the car ever made it on the track, it was found that they had altered the body area behind the C post in an effort to make the car more aerodynamic. Nascar fined, penalized points and suspended Knaus and another member of the team. Team owner Rick Hendrick filed an appeal, which they lost last week, and then filed a second and final appeal, which today resulted in no docking of points, no suspensions and the $100,000 fine against Knaus left intact.

So, basically, Nascar told Knaus and the #48 team, if you cheat, you're going to lose some money out of your pocket(right, like that's really coming out of Knaus's pocket) but you can keep your points and keep right on working and doing your best to cheat again.

Had this been any other team, I think all the penalties would have stood up. Nascar just doesn't want to take a chance away from their fair-haired boy and his team not winning more championships, regardless of how they do it.

However, I'm sure as any true fan of the sport will concur, it's costing them far more in the long run. Looking at the empty seats at a race that was always sold out should tell Nascar something. They don't even sell out their Crown Jewel race anymore, The Daytona 500.

Why would you want to sit and watch a race where certain teams are given every chance to cheat and win? Why would you, as a sponsor, want your name on the car that obviously likes to cheat to win?

The empty seats tell the tale, the slip in television ratings tells the tale and the number of diehard fans that now tell you they don't watch it all that closely anymore hasn't been enough to get Nascar to start treating everyone the same.

Until that happens, more and more people are going to quit going to races and quit watching them on television.

I, for one, along with a lot of others, will never frequent a Lowes store as long as they continue to give millions of dollars worth of sponsorship support to a team that refuses to play fairly.

I have no respect at all for Chad Knaus or the #48 team, I have no respect for Jimmie Johnson as a driver and I have no respect for any of his five championships.

I also have no respect for Nascar simply because they themselves refuse to play by the rules that they themselves have written.

And while I might watch a half dozen or so races a year from now on, I will no longer watch it week in and week out and I won't be supporting all the sponsors of the sport like I used to.

And like I previously mentioned, I will never walk into a Lowes store ever again as long as they have their name on Jimmie Johnson's vehicle.

Nascar, you took aim on that goose for a lot of years and you kept taking shots at it, and finally, after a lot of misses, you made a direct hit this year.

The only thing left to do is bury the poor animal before it starts putrifying!

Springing Into Spring

The first day of Spring 2012 has arrived, and unlike most chilly Indiana Spring's, this one feels like a day in Summer. We have been experiencing a most unlikely warm Spring so far, and several records have been broken as temperatures for the past week have been in the upper 70s and lower 80s. Today, another record should fall as we creep into the mid 80s with temperatures forecast to hit 85.

This past Saturday I mowed for the first time, and if memory serves me correctly, I have never mowed that early, ever! As green as that grass is and as quickly as it is growing, I am pretty certain either later today or tomorrow I'll be mowing yet again.

The nice thing this year, I have all the time in the world I need to keep up with the grass. I'm not locked into mowing on weekends or after work only as I can now mow whenever I take a notion to.

I have several outdoor projects in mind and all the time in the world now to do them. I can have my coffee out on the porch, build a small fire in the firepit and cook meals and I can take my Bose outside and listen to tunes while reading a favorite book.

Hopefully this will be the nicest Spring I've experienced since I graduated from high school 42 years ago. These small little things that don't seem important to many mean the world to me and these are the days of my early retirement that I have been looking most forward to.

And with those words out of the way, it's off to venture the world of Spring 2012 and the first Spring of my retirement. To each of you, my Faithful Few and those of you who may have ventured by on your first visit, I humbly wish you a wonderful first day of Spring and hope you enjoy yours as much as I'm sure I will mine.

Zayden Update

Zayden's RSV swab came back negative, so they are ruling out RSV as the cause for today's health issues. However, they still aren't certain what is causing the little 16 month old so much respiratory distress. It's quite possible it be asthma, but it's not certain as of yet.

He is slowly improving and his Dad told me that earlier while holding him Zayden managed to give his Daddy about a half a dozen little punches.

That's a good sign to me, for sure!

Get better, Zayden!

Zayden

I just received word less than a half hour ago that our 16 month old nephew, Zayden, was Lifelined by helicopter this morning from Richmond to Indianapolis with a severe case of RSV. That's all I really know at this time.

I would like to ask those of my Faithful Few who read this today to please keep him in your prayers. Hopefully those prayers will be answered and answered quickly.

Thanks so much for the prayers, the postive karma and good vibes.

He needs them all this morning.

317

Words aren't invented
Words are begat
Of feelings that are
Lived
During times without limits
And emotions awaiting
To be free
I call upon the depths
Of night's legions
To aid my heart
And compel me to cope
With unchained passion
That's depths remain
Unheralded
In days without
Number
And smiles without
Tears...

March Madness, 2012

Up until last year, I never understood the hype of college basketball.

Then, on March 2nd, 2011, I underwent shoulder surgery and began that painful recuperation period at home with absolutely nothing but therapy to do.

So, I took advantage of the March Madness broadcasts and got caught up in the frenzy of college basketball, and that hooked me!

This year, being retired, I have the ability to watch the games without the distraction of the pain I was in a year ago. I also have the ability to enjoy some cold ones and have some delicious munchies in the process.

Two hours from now, CBS begins the broadcasting, along with other games televised by TruTV, TBS and TNT.

The next few days will be busy with the games, then a few days off followed by more games next weekend as well!

Let me heartily say, "Let the games begin!"

Great Day For A Parade!

Enjoyed yesterday so much! Got together with our crew from the Concert Series and participated in the 2012 St Patrick's Day Parade in beautiful weather in Rushville!

After a nice 6 block ride on our Concert Series Trolley and the tossing out of a bunch of candy and bubble gum, the parade ended at the local Knights of Columbus where the big party started shortly after the parade and ended in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

This picture is of Peggy and myself and my close friend Rick shortly before we began the parade in the mid 50's temperatures.

This parade usually ushers in the warmer Spring temperatures, and apparently, with temps forecast in the 70's for the next week and half or so, it appears that annual tradition is safe as well!

And with that: C'mon Spring!

Everybody's Next One - Steppenwolf

John Kay: guitars, harmonica, vocals.
Rushton Moreve: bass guitar, vocals.
Michael Monarch: guitars, backing vocals.
Goldy McJohn: hamond organ, piano, electric
piano.
Jerry Edmonton: drums, percussion, vocals.

Gabriel Mekler: Producer.

Bill Cooper: Engineer
Richard Podolor: Engineer.


♪♫ She's all alone, just lost another one
Met him yesterday and he's already gone
And though tonight she'll swear it was the last time
A smiling face will come that knows the right line
And then she'll do all the right things with the wrong guy
And when he's gone, next day she'll sit and wonder why

She doesn't know why she's everybody's next one
'Cause she's afraid that the truth is gonna hurt some
All the pity in the world ain't gonna help none
She has to realize that to keep one, her ways have to change some

She tries too hard and she comes on too strong
Digs herself too much and thinks she can't be wrong
She's too impressed by things that do not matter
To be the Queen of hearts is what she's after.
And then she'll do all the right things with the wrong guy
And when he's gone, next day she'll sit and wonder why

She doesn't know why she's everybody's next one
'Cause she's afraid that the truth is gonna hurt some
All the pity in the world ain't gonna help none
She has to realize that to keep one, her ways have to change some.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I am posting this for one of my Faithful Few, Dominic, who really thought I was kidding when I told him Steppenwolf has a song by this title.

Dominic, here is the proof for you to see, and the tune is actually quite good. If memory serves me correctly, this was the flip side of Born To Be Wild. If anyone finds me to be wrong on this one, please let me know.

Enjoy!

Good Luck, Peyton~

At noon today, the announcement that everyone who follows Colts Football knew was coming took place.

Peyton Manning and the Colts have parted ways by mutual agreement.

Jim Irsay made the announcement and after Peyton's emotional farewell speech, Peyton himself told the audience at his press conference that money was never an issue when coming to the decision.

Yes, it's sad to see the 14 year veteran Colts quarterback leave, but, apparently Irsay and the new coaching staff have other ideas as to the direction that Colts are now going.

Peyton, ever the class act that he is, said he would always be a Colt, would always be a part of the city of Indianapolis and that his dedication to the city would continue, as well as his childrens hospital and his numerous charities.

He stated that he and Jim Irsay were the best of friends and would always continue to be and that he respected Jim and the decisions he has made.

It's a shame that a lot of Peyton's fans can't display the same class he has been and stop the accusations and name calling against Irsay.

I wish Peyton the best in whatever direction his career now takes and can only hope he finds the same support and success wherever that may be.

I wish Jim Irsay and the Colts the best as they begin a transitional period and can only hope in a few years the Colts can rise back to the top of the NFL.

I also hope that the sour grapes fans, who sometimes tend to only be fair weather fans, can grow up in their actions and be more adult in their behavior as Jim Irsay and staff move into a new direction for the team.

Life goes on and so does pro football, with or without Peyton Manning.

Get Away Negativity

Five months retired now and just recently I came to the realization of just how much negativity I was exposed to everyday while I was still working.

Customer complaints were actually very infrequent, but some customers actually brought my mood down when they talked about how bad their day had been going. I always tried to make that person's day brighter, and sometimes I'm sure I didn't succeed, but other times I'm sure I did.

Since I retired, I've found so much negativity in a lot of facets of my life. Whether it be watching the news, going to websites on a regular basis that tend to only talk of the negative or sites that try and bring others down for whatever reason or the usual group of naysayers on Facebook who seem to think the only thing worth talking about is how bad their health is, how bad their life is going or just how bad one particular political party is making life miserable for so many.

Back in December I decided to limit my news intake to less than an hour a day and I quit frequenting negative websites and blogpages that I normally used to go to each and everyday. My happiness and state of mind isn't in competition with anyone so why should I read sites or pages that seem to think otherwise?

Last month I began the task of eliminating friends from Facebook who are totally into the habit of being a bigot or a finger pointer against everyone of a particular group of affiliation. This was the hard one for me to do, because, quite frankly, I do have a lot of people I consider friends but I simply got sick of being drug down by all their negativity.

I've also, at the same time, tried to be very careful what I post as well, whether it be on Facebook or on this page as well. While I've not been 100% in that effort, I feel like I have passed that endeavor close to 80% of the time.

I don't see this as trying to put myself above anyone or thinking that I'm any better than anyone else, I just see it as an act of self-preservation. And while I am by no means in a totally positive frame of mind all the time, my mood is better and I tend to see most things in a brighter light than I did before.

Now that I am seeing things in a more positive vein, I hope that what I post both here and elsewhere can be of a more positive outlook as well.

As always, time will tell.

Also, I find myself spending less and less time online and spending more time doing those things that I just didn't seem to have time to do.

That right there has made this entire change in my life worth it!

60

Really...

Really?

Are you serious?

60 years old today?

Remarkable, considering I can remember saying I would never live to see 20, then 30, then 40, then 50...

And now, 60 years old.

It's been a fast 60 years, even with all the bumps in the road along the way, it's been a mostly smooth ride.

I've learned to accept some things along the way and I've been able to adapt to some things along the way and I've been able to change some things along the way.

Those things that I've not been able to change for the better I can at least accept them.

The great thing about my life now, 60 years in and able to retire before that birthday arrived, is that the people that are MOST important and that matter most in my life and actively involved in my life and remain a part of it, each and everyday. Those who have decided that I'm not important in theirs have their own reasons and their own hangups and I have learned to accept that for the most part.

I'm proud of who I am, where I have come from, what I have been able to accomplish and I am surrounded by people who respect me and accept me for who I am.

I am a truly blessed man and I hope the good Lord sees fit for me to come back in another 10 years and write a blog entitled "70." If not, at least I have the satisfaction knowing I got to write this one at the tender age of sixty, anyhow!

Blessings to all of my Faithful Few.

You make my life so full and such a gas!

34

Thirty-four years ago today my life changed forever when Peggy and I drove to Newport, Kentucky and were pronounced husband and wife by Justice Of The Peace George "Yatz" Henderson.

We've been thru a lot together over all these years. It's not always been a bed of roses and the road has had several bumps in it along the way, but true love has guided us both along this road together and we've made the passage thru the past thirty-four years together.

It is with humble pride that I thank Peggy for the past 34 years, and though I know I don't have another thirty-four years left in me, if I did, it would be truly grand to spend them all with her.

I am truly a blessed and lucky man.

Nascar Debut 2012

After watching the melee that I just watched on Fox, the Bud Shootout proved that occasionally Nascar can make some good decisions.

The new engine, the changes in aerodynamics of the cars and the larger restrictor plate made for some awesome pack racing tonight and pretty much eliminated constant two car packs.

The race was good, it was exciting but it did show that some kinks still need to be worked out to eliminate as many accidents as they had tonight.

And while I'm by no means a fan of Kyle Busch, he drove an unbelievable race and pulled off the perfect pass to win over my driver right at the start-finish line by about a yard.

It remains to be seen what kind of actions, if any, Nascar decides to take against the 48 Lowes team, who once again decided to try and bend the rules and flagrantly cheat on their Daytona 500 car.

What I would like to see is Lowes threaten to pull their sponsorship unless Chad Knaus is released as crew chief. I would be even more satisfied if Nascar banned him from all phases of the sport, but I would imagine what will end up happening is pretty much a slap on the wrist and maybe a few bucks being fined. When it comes to Nascar's so called fair haired boy, Jimmie Johnson, they tend to look the other way and let them do what they want. After all, he has won five championships, although one has to wonder how fairly they were won.

Anyway, glad to see season starting back up and looking forward to a great Daytona 500 on the 26th!

Go Away From My World - Marianne Faithfull

Still my favorite Marianne Faithfull song. Powerful tune about a love that can never be. Totally awesome words!

breeding ground

he beat his hands against the wall
he beat his hands against his head
he beat his hands against his side
he laughed without humor
he cried without tears
and the thought of nothing
but the ridiculousness of the situation
and how with perception
intelligence
breeds
foolishness

sorry?

has your laughter stopped
has the joke subsided
have you ceased talking
about me
as the freaks decided

that as pathetic as I am
and as pathetic as I'll be
you've never tire
of making fun of me

i give you the ammo
i give you the gist
you take it you break me
and yet you're still pissed

i promised you nothing
yet i gave you my love
but you always wanted more
than i was capable of

i wish you no ill
i wish you the best
yet you treat this life of mine
like a cold game of chess

i look to tomorrow
as a way to divulge
all these feelings i have
that you can't expunge

please leave me alone
and just let me be
and live in your misery
for eternity

Chasm

The pit of depression
Lies deep and
Dark
And is so very hard
To climb out of.

One Chapter At A Time

Life comes in chapters, much like those in a book.

We read the chapter, we remember it because it is essential to the overall story, and then, we move on and read the next chapter, knowing we needn't go back and reread what we have already read.

We read it, we remember it, it's a part of the story, but the chapter is over and done.

There's no need to read it again.

Ever.

It was necessary but it was only one chapter.

As with the book, when you pass chapters in life, it's time to move on and remember, but not to continue going over and over that part of it over and over again.

I just hope I get to finish this book...

Mid Winter Blues

Stuck there again this year.

I hate this time of year, hate the lack of sunshine and the miserable wet days. Thankfully it's coming mostly in the form of rain this year, but there's a couple of months of winter to go yet, so anything is possible.

Compounding that is the crap on tv news, day in, day out, political crap and the whole monotonous pile of garbage and lies.

New this year is the never ending political and bigoted bullshit on Facebook. Yeah, I'm upset, I said BULLSHIT!!!

I go to Facebook to stay in touch with friends, some of whom I haven't seen in over 40 years. I post what I consider to be humorous items at times, and all in all, I try and do what I did when I worked at the post office each day. I try and brighten just one person's day each day.

I know we are all individuals and we all have our beliefs and our ideologies. However, is it really necessary to post doctored pictures, blatant political lies and bigoted remarks on a social website? I mean, just because someone wants to be a racial and political bigot doesn't mean the rest of their friends really want to read their ignorance each day.

There's been one of my "friends" who for the past week and half has been posting the most ignorant and blatantly racial crap and he's been totally insulting to anyone of a particular political party. It's bad enough that he posts items he's not checked for validity, but he has to add demeaning comments and sterotypical generalizations to them as well, and frankly, today was it! I got so pissed off at a so called political picture that I went to his page and I unfriended him!

He won't miss me, and I sure as hell won't miss him.

But it amazes me how so many people think it necessary to put that crap on a social website and reveal to everyone that they can't think for themselves and they totally believe that everyone of a certain race or a certain religion or a certain political party are ALL the same.

It's this small minded thinking that got our nation in the fouled up mess it's in right now. Why in the hell can't people get beyond this pinheadedness and realize that each person is an individual REGARDLESS of their race, creed, religion or political affiliation.

It's bad enough to have to watch the political biased garbage that goes on in Congress each day. It's disgusting to have to watch our nation's president make a State of The Union address and see the constipated face of John Boehner behind him scowling at his every word. It was easy to see during the President's speech the other night that NOTHING he wants to pass thru Congress will because in John Boehner's eyes, Barrack Obama is the enemy because he is a Democrat. Congress doesn't care about the nation, they only care in making sure nothing the President supports passes thru.

So, when I see this on tv each day, hear about it on the evening news, the morning news and the radio, I sure as hell don't need to see it posted on Facebook as well by ignorant people who don't know what the hell they are talking about.

Politically, I'm as middle of the road as you can get, I don't vote straight, I support candidates from both parties, and I am intelligent enough to know that good ideas come from both sides in Congress. I know we are all different, but what is it about someone's political affiliation that marks them and typecasts them?

I don't get it and I never will, because frankly, I grew up over the years and thankfully I got more intelligent. Obviously there's some out there who haven't.

So, today, I've had enough. I won't trash up my time on Facebook anymore by reading this crap. If I feel like I have to unfriend someone because of it, as much as it pains me to do so, I will.

Today was the start of that.

I also apologize to you, My Faithful Few, for spewing out this way, but I needed to release some tension, and writing usually seems to do that for me.

Hopefully these winter blues are about over.

At least I hope so...

blind creation

you did what you could
you said your piece
thru no fault of your own
the masses deny the good that you've done.

don't feel remorse,
don't feel pity for those too ignorant
to see what you've done
just proceed as you always have
those of us who have faith
can see the steps you have made
the progress that has begun
and the change that you promised
that the mean spirited bigots
won't allow you to deliver.

those who create the furor
those who belittle and demean
will reap their just rewards
as their blindness overshadows
reality
and the traps
that they themselves
are creating.

there's not enough time...

I'm a tad over a month away from turning 60 years old.

I don't know how that happened. I don't know where the years have gone, I don't know how I have gotten this far in my life when, as a teen, I didn't think I would ever live to see 30...

and several times I didn't...

However, should the good Lord above see to it, on February 25th, I will, indeed, turn 60.

When I was younger, 60 seemed old. Matter of fact, it was an accomplisment.

My grandmother on my Dad's side died when she was 68, and though I was only 7 years old at the time of her death, she seemed so old to me. My grandfather on my Dad's side died a few years later at the age of 72. Again, an age at the time that seemed old to me.

Hell, I have friends that are between 75 and 80 years old and they seem like they are my age...

A reminder to me that this life is not forever.

Personally, I don't feel like I'm about to turn 60 and I sure as hell don't feel like I am going to...

But I feel like I need to mend some fences that have needed mending for years.

Do I miss my youth? Hell, of course I do?

I miss my friends.

I flash back to the line from Stand By Me, the movie based on Stephen King's The Body of "I never had any better friends than those I had when I was twelve years old...Hell, does anyone?"

I don't know that any truer statement has ever been written.

So, as each day in this life passes, I yearn to mend those fences, spend time with loved ones, friends, people I haven't seen in years, and I long to continue to share the music I love with so many...

I don't know that I'll ever be blessed with enough time to get all of that done, but I sure as hell am going to try.

Yeah,

There's not enough time left...

still a child

an amazing thing,
life.
wherein your zone of being
you are the center of the
Galaxy,
you are,
however,
not the center of
all.
realization of this small fact
might enable
a better understanding
and
relationship,
but I don't hold my breath,
for I gave up believing
in dragons
when I was but a
child
of the universe.

Cleaning Off The Mud

Sometimes, on this walk thru life, it becomes necessary to clean the mud from the bottom of your shoes before you can proceed onward. It's also necessary to clean the mud off before it dries, because damp mud comes off much easier than mud that has had a chance to dry. Little bits of that mud try and hold on and you really have to work at it to get them all off, but if you remain persistent, the shoes can come completely clean with a little effort.

Awesome New Years Eve

On New Years Eve we got to witness the swearing in of the new Rushville Common Council and the new Rushville Mayor, Mike Pavey.

I've never been able to be involved in the political process because of my postal job. However, after my retirement, I was able to actively participate and support a candidate for office for the first time.

The best part of it was my candidate won. Because of that win, the city of Rushville has a great chance to find its greatness once again and what sets it apart from other small communities.

Yesterday afternoon, at the 201 Building in downtown Rushville, a standing room only crowd gathered to witness the inauguration of Mike Pavey and his new city council, all of whom assumed their offices today.

After a very emotional and moving ceremony and several speeches, the crowd slowly began dispersing and heading towards whatever New Years plans they had made. I got a chance to tell Mayor Pavey that whatever help I could be to him, even though I am not a resident of Rushville, I would be available should he need me. I didn't make that offer lightly. I made that offer because I truly meant it and I will make myself available to do whatever I can to help Mike and the new council and the city of Rushville pull itself out of the downward spiral it has fallen into over the past four years.

Watching Mike take his oath yesterday and listening to his speech reminded just why I had supported Mike to begin with.

Mike Pavey believes in Rushville.

I So Want To Be Wrong This Time

There are times when I get feelings and so much of the time those feelings have basis and purpose.

Back in late 2007 or 2008 I wrote a blog and posted it regarding our nation's economy and gas prices and how I felt we were on the tip of having the worst set back economically since the Great Depression.

A few months later, exactly what I thought would happen, did.

Since that time, slowly, but surely, our economy has been trying to rebound.

The mistake that the oil companies made back then was that prices rose too fast and the economic state of our nation rebelled.

This time, however, the changes have been suttle. Eight cents here, twenty cents there, back them down a nickel, and people tend to not notice what's happening.

Looking at gas prices as we close out this year and where they are should frighten the hell out of any clear thinking American.

The economic death knell is sounding again, but it's a quiet knell this time, and people aren't seeming to notice it as much.

But it's sounding, and it's coming, folks, it's coming.

Gas prices are going to head right back up to the mid $4 range this year, and probably be even closer to $5. We are getting ready to fall back economically, and though the oil companies think they've got a handle on it this time, trust me, they don't. They are messing with the very core of our nation's economy once again, and maybe this time, just maybe, they will succeed is driving us into economic oblivion.

If people can't afford to buy gas, they quit driving as much as they can. They quit driving, they put less miles on vehicles, less miles, no reason to buy a new vehicle. New vehicle sales drop, production of new vehicles drops. Production drops, companies that provide goods to the auto industry cut production, workers aren't needed. People lose jobs, income drops, no money being spent, government once again spends billions more in unemployment benefits and the national debt continues to rise.

Gloomy picture, isn't it?

Worst of all, it's coming once again folks, and the idiots in control of our nation are going to sit back and do NOTHING about it, because, it's not going to affect them as much as it is you and me.

Hmmm, it's an election year, so many of those who are in control of Congress are going to do everything they can to make the nation's leader look bad in an effort to get him voted out, regardless of what it does to our nation as a whole.

And the worst part of it all is that it will succeed somewhat, and the idiots that put these idiots in Congress will probably go back to the polls and give them the opportunity to do it to us all once again.

Pass the vaseline, please!

I hope and pray that I am wrong, but I don't think so, and I think it's just a matter of time that 2008 will seem like a great year considering where we are headed.

Wake up America, before it's too late.

The clock is ticking and time is indeed running out.

Update

For the first time ever in my life, I woke up alone on Christmas morning. Peggy spent the night at the hospital in Richmond to be with her Dad. It was a strange feeling, and one I never, ever hope to have to go thru again.

Christmas morning, after I ate a quick breakfast, I made the drive to Richmond as well, all 54 miles of it, and I spent the morning and about half the afternoon sitting in the cafeteria reading my Kindle, while Peggy and her sister spent time with their Dad.

Later on during Christmas Day, her Dad was moved into a regular room.

Peggy's Mom spent her Christmas Day in Methodist Hospital in Indy, recuperating from surgery to repair her broken leg while tests were going on to find out where she was losing blood and also to treat an embolism on her lung.

Her grandmother spent Christmas also in Methodist being treated for a bowel obstruction.

I left Reid Hospital later Christmas afternoon and Peggy left about 90 minutes after me. We celebrated Christmas, finally, between 8:30 and 9PM Christmas night. We stretched it out and finished upwrapping gifts to each other between 10 and 10:30.

The day after Christmas, Peggy and her sister again headed up to the hospital in Richmond as they once again began trying to use the feeding tube that had aspirated on Christmas Eve and put Roy back in ICU. They had to make decisions regarding treatment for Roy should the tube aspirate again, which thankfully did not.

Yesterday, Roy was transferred from Reid to Millers' Merry Manor in Rushville, eliminating that long drive each day to Richmond. Last night Roy was laughing and acting like a different person. While he is still paralyzed and cannot talk, he's acting much more like himself and his sense of humor seems to slowly be coming back.

This morning, Peggy's grandmother was released from Methodist and sent home, the treatment for her bowel obstruction a success.

Late this afternoon, Peggy's Mom was transferred out of Methodist, also to Millers' in Rushville. So, everyone is back in Rushville for the time being, and hopefully things are going to start getting better for everyone.

Roy will be undergoing intense therapy to help him regain his speech and his mobility.

Sue will be undergoing therapy on her leg so she can begin using it again.

I am so thankful that everything seems to be going well right now. Only time will tell for each of them, but for now, things are better than they have been for over 2 weeks.

As 2011 draws to a close, I thank each of you, my Faithful Few for hanging in there with me for another year. I hope next year the blogs get better and you find the page interesting and fun to visit and check back with.

Hold those you love near to you and try and get alone, because you never know just how much time you will have with anyone, and the relationships you have with everyone are so important.

I've had a lot of personal losses with friends and family this year, and I truly hope 2012 is a much better year in that regard.

Richest wishes and blessings are sent to you all for a most wonderful and prosperous 2012. I wish you happiness and peace, as always.

Smile Source

Like the pulsating
Flash
Of a synapse,
The detonating impulse
Powered into his heart,
Driving blindly forth
And filling his soul
With a depth
Of convoluted emotion
That caused tears
To stream down his cheeks
As his lips pulled back
Into a smile
That refused to leave
His face.
She
Had done this.
He smiled even wider.

Not What I Was Expecting

For the first time in 33 years, I was looking forward to a different kind of Christmas season. No longer working for the post office, I thought this would be a totally enjoyable Christmas season.

One thing for sure, it's going to be different. There will be parts that will be enjoyable, I know, but everything leading up to it has been totally unexpected.

My earlier blog regarding my father in law was just the beginning, Faithful Few.

Roy has been transferred to a different hospital, another 50 minutes away. My cold that has been holding on and refusing to let go has kept me from being able to visit with him, but with him already having pneumonia, I knew it best to keep away.

Earlier this week, Monday if my memory is correct, and I'll have to assume for the moment that it is, my mother-in-law, who has been divorced from Roy for 46 years, fell after delivering an Avon customer's order and broke her leg. This was the same leg she had a knee replacement in a short while back. She was taken to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis and underwent surgery to repair the break and have a metal rod put in her leg.

She comes thru surgery fine, and during a chest x-ray Tuesday morning, they discover that she has an embolism on her lung, so, she is now on medication for that, has been receiving blood tranfusions, and was told that she won't be out of the hospital until after Christmas.

As she is under the knife Monday evening and getting the necessary surgery on her leg, her mother, Peggy's grandmother, is rushed to Methodist Hospital (yes, the same one) with a bowel blockage. She went thru total hell with this back in June, and after two surgeries, is now suffering the same symptons all over again.

So, indeed, this is going to be a very unique Christmas season for us, but nothing at all like the Christmas season I was thinking it was going to be. Each time the phone rings right now, I dread answering it for fear something else has gone wrong.

Anyway, not meaning to cry, piss and moan, but this is going to be the most unusual Christmas we have ever had. Hopefully, when all is said and done, the good Lord will grant a complete and thorough healing to them all.

It appears as I write this that sometime in the near future, barring any other complications, Peggy's Mom and Dad, who divorced 46 years earlier, will probably be doing rehab in the same nursing home. How ironic.

In case this is my last entry before the Christmas holiday, I will take just a moment and wish each of you all a very Merry Christmas and our Lord's richest and abundant blessings to you all. I hope each and everyone of you has the best Christmas ever.

And if you could be so kind, please keep Peggy and myself in your prayers as well, and please mention Roy, Sue and Mary as well, and ask the Lord to bless them all with a total and complete healing.

Merry Christmas, 2011, to all of my Faithful Few.

Insincerity

empty, meaningless words,
void of emotion
trail of insipid vegetation
spewing behind them
inflicting
conflicting
a deadening art of being,
soft heartedly spewing forth
bits of bitterness
savoring the stinging
of insincere tears,
releasing nothing more than
camouflaged emotions
aiding only the narcissism
of their true intent.

sparks

lightning,
quick
bright
blinding,
shocking and awakening,
permeating
power,
brightening
the dark,
seeking
awareness
boldly,
perceiving
solutions
unavailable
continually asking,
seeking
yet
receiving
nothing.
and so it shall continue
into another life,
as the next flash
erupts.

Untouchable

Thru his fingers
Like water
She ran
Remaining out of his grasp
But leaving behind
A wet memory
And a slickness
As black as the night
And
As obtainable
In substance
Much like a vapor

Private Interlude

She calls upon her legion
In the night,
The blue princess
Brings forth the subtle
Changes
That cry out for her
Wanting
Desiring
Needing
That which only she can fulfill.
The nectar of simplicity
Bears fruit
And allows the breezes
Of intoxication
To pour itself out,
Overflowing,
Feeding,
Nourishing
The quiet yet starving soul
As she awakens his tired soul
And brings the moonlight
Blindingly
Into view
As he searches for her
Sensing her
And realizing
How close indeed she is,
And
She sees him
As no one else does,
Stripped of his facade
And standing naked before her
His disguise gone
And
Cast aside,
Relishing in the electricity
Of her aura.

Roy

Earlier this week my father in law had a massive stroke. It was a while before he was found, but when he was found luckily he was still alive and breathing.

He is in the hospital now, in guarded condition, and he has a veritable plethora of problems going on. Pneumonia, heart issues, paralysis, kidney issues, etc.

He's a widower, so he spent a lot of time after his stroke without medical attention, and he was extremely dehydrated when he was taken to the hospital.

All in all, his prognosis is not good, but we're clinging to faith that he will pull thru this and all that lies ahead of him.

He has a long road of recovery ahead of him, should he survive this.

Those of you, my Faithful Few, that read my blog regularly, I ask you for your prayers for him, that he not only survive this stroke, but that he make a full and complete recovery.

Those of you who aren't one of my Faithful Few, I ask the same of you.

The power of prayer is a truly amazing thing, and right now, Roy needs all the prayers he can get.

Thanks.

It Feels Strange, But I Like It

What a strange feeling it is this year to be able to sit back and leisurely enjoy the Christmas season without all the fanfare and stress of work. I stopped by my old work stomping grounds a couple of weeks ago and it was indeed a strange feeling, not to have to get all up in the work end of it. It was good to see a few of my co-workers as well.

My only trip back to the post office this year will probably be to pick up a few Christmas stamps when I mail the cards, but otherwise, I don't think I'll be heading back there anytime soon.

A very busy week lies ahead for my former co workers this week and part of the next one, and I know they are up the challenge. It just seems strange that for the first time in 33 years I won't be partaking of the job of getting things from here to there for everyone.

But, it's a feeling I believe I'll be getting used to and enjoying...

Yes, retirement does indeed have its benefits.

Rest In Peace, Pops!

Today marked the 100th anniversary of my dad's birthday.

About fifteen minutes ago I was notified that a good friend of mine, who at one time many years ago was probably my best friend, passed away this morning.

The picture above was taken at my surprise retirement party on October 1st, which would have been my mom's 98th birthday, had she lived.

David W. Sailor, known to many as either "Butch" or "Pops," was one of those friends who had drifted away over the years, and while we weren't strangers by any means, we only saw each other a half dozen times a year or so, whereas, 30 years ago, we probably got together at least once a week if not more.

My friend, I will so miss you, your friendship, your laugh and your crazy sense of humor. You were a friend to so many. It's hard to imagine you are gone.

At least now, you're not suffering and your pain is gone.

This world will not be the same, ever again, without you in it.

Godspeed, Pops!

Sylvia

thoughts of confusion
an absence of answers
lies
deceit
perversion
violence
inhumanity
and the trolls of civilization
bringing multitudes
of evil
upon lost souls
for wanton reasons
of lust
and vile
i shake my head
and walk away
with still no answers
and a loss of reason
as tears of pity
fall
and the confusion
persists

A Viewing

Man's inhumanity to man...
Such a waste of time
Such a waste of emotion
Such a waste of life.
Man's inhumanity to man...
Alive and well,
Neverending.

grasping

The ultimate product
Of being human
Is Death.

Thanksgiving, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Today I'm thankful for my family and for the way I was raised, for my darling and crazy sister Marita, for the career I had working at the Rushville Post Office and making so many good friends over the years, for my love of music and the chance to share music with so many each year at the Summer Concert Series, and for the love of my life and the woman who has unmercifully put up with me for nearly 35 years, my darling wife Peggy Sue. How wonderful to live in a nation where we can freely speak about how we feel and have the chance to let freedom ring each and everyday. I'm also thankful for each and everyone of you, my friends, my Faithful Few. You make my journey thru this thing called life more rewarding each day you are all a part of it. Enjoy your day, everyone, and be happy today and always!

Jim Morrison - The Severed Garden

A very good friend shared this with me today when my spirit seems a little down, and as usual the words of Jim Morrison have elevated my mood and put a half smile on my face. Rock on Jim! And thanks, Brian, one of my Faithful Few!

I'm Me, Simply Me, And That's All I'm Ever Gonna Be

My ideals and philosophies may not be the same as yours, but I accept you for who you are and I never, ever try and change you and ask you to be anyone other than who you are. Why is it so many that know me put me down, tell me that everything I believe and stand for is wrong and do everything they can to belittle me and try and hurt my feelings? I'm who I am, I'm not changing and I only ask that you grant me the same courtesies I grant to you and let me be who I am without fear of persecution.

Yes Indeed, Number Three!

In one of the most thrilling Sprint Cup races I have personally ever watched, Tony Stewart did exactly what he needed to do today and won his third Sprint Cup Championship.

In a thrilling race, that could have only awarded one of two people the championship, Tony tied Carl Edwards in points and won the title by having the most wins this season. He and Carl finished first and second in the race.

The final 40 laps saw both drivers doing everything they could to win the race, but Tony had the car that was the class of the field and once he got the lead, he never looked back. A couple of times that lead was a fraction of a second, but Tony's skill behind the wheel and a gamble saving fuel in the pits earlier paid off in the final outcome of the race.

This race was truly exciting, and I personally watched the last eleven laps standing in my living room and staring at the television until the checkered flag was waved.

Carl Edwards, ever the class act and great sportsman that he is, was the first person to walk up to Tony's car and reach in and not only shake his hand, but give him his heartiest congratulations. He also told Tony that he hoped it came down just like this next year between the two of them and that they could battle for the championship once again.

And now, until February, no races on the weekends, which always seems to leave a void in my life. However, this year, I do believe I will turn my attention to college basketball, something I've never really followed until this past March when I was home during March Madness recovering from surgery.

Congratulations once again to my favorite Nascar driver, Tony Stewart, the 2011 Sprint Cup Champion!

Number Three?

This afternoon, Nascar's Sprint Cup Series finale takes place at Homestead-Miami, Florida, and the Sprint Cup Champion will be crowned.

It's down to two of the most deserving drivers in Nascar: Carl Edwards and Tony Stewart.

Without question, since I personally know Tony and have been a fan of his way back to when he was driving 3/4 midgets, I'm going to be pulling for him to win his third championship, his first as an owner-driver. I'm a Chevy man, so naturally, since Tony drives a Chevy, that's another reason to be pulling for him.

Carl Edwards, a very nice young man and a very capable and talented driver and a very good sportsman is leading Tony as they start today's race by a mere 3 points.
Carl, while I like him as an individual and as a driver, drives a Ford. Okay, I totally hate Fords, and since owning a brand new Ford back in 1976 that had an engine defect that Ford wouldn't stand behind, I have sworn I would never own another one. So for that reason, I really would rather not see Carl win.

Also, Carl drives for Jack Rousch. I'm not a fan of Jack's, either, so there's yet another reason to hope that Carl doesn't win.

However, they are both very deserving of a win today and to win the championship, and it another six hours or so, it will have all been decided.

I'm not sure who the winner will be, I will truly be happy either way, I would just be a lot more satisfied if the winner of the Cup would be Tony Stewart.

And then, my sights will turn to February and the return of the Nascar season when the Daytona 500 premiers the 2012 season on February 26th.

For now, come on Tony!

Life Getting Better

As the cold winds blow
And the last remaining leaves
Blow to the ground
And escape on the current
Of rushing air
He stands looking to the future
Smiling and knowing
That the light he sees rising
Is the happiness that lies ahead
From the decisions
He has made.
Those many hours
Those many years
He kept his nose
To the proverbial grindstone
And now
With his time being his own
He sees nothing
But glorious days ahead
Despite a few bumps in the road.
Life is just
Beginning
After nearly
Sixty years.

Time/Fleeting

As we move closer and closer to the ends of time, I'm thankful the sand in my hourglass has already hardened.

Mass

Moving
Soaring
Arcing upward
Spinning
Diving
Shooting
Dipping
then
Spiralling
Haphazzardly
yet
Under control
Spreading outward
Amassing energy
Splitting apart
Hesitantly
and
Rejoining
Blazing forth
Brightly
Increasing
Multiplying
but
Simply,
Being.

As If Was Will

Night's mistress,
Cloaked in her deep blue
Garment
Glides upon the
Night air
And infects the disease of
Fear
Into the timid hearts of
Man,
Confusing him
Perplexing him
In an attempt to overthrow
Him
And take control
Like a
Legion,
For she is many
And refuses to run
Into the river
And drown.

Minutes

Time continues to fly by
Taking with it
All that we can never get back
Or hope to.
Each minute that goes by
Travels infinitely away
And out of our
Reach,
Almost as if in jest.

Speak, Rollover, Turn A Page?

Sometimes it's hard to get an old dog to do new tricks, and it is likewise hard to get someone of nearly 60 years of age to get with all the new high tech things that are available today.

Anyone who knows the author of this blogpage, knows just how much I love to read and if you come into my home you will see a vast collection of books that continues to get larger and larger each year. So large, in fact, some of my older books that are not of my favorite authors are now sitting in boxes, still taking up space, but just not out where anyone can see them.

A friend of mine a couple of years ago got a Kindle, first generation, and told me what a great invention it was and how badly I needed to get one of my own. Well, to me, I have always said I would rather have that book in my hands and be able to turn the pages forward and backward to my own liking and not be dependent on a piece of electronics to do my reading. There's something about holding that author's words in a volume of paper pages, bound and in a nice jacket that has always appealed to me.

When I retired, my co workers took up a collection for me and the gal who collected the money started to get me a Kindle since she knew how much I liked to read, but decided since there are now so many variations available, to get me a gift certificate to Amazon and let me spend the money as I saw fit.

I did some investigating, and I decided since her original intent was to get me a Kindle, I would do just exactly that. So, a couple of weeks ago, I went online to Amazon and I preordered a new Kindle Touch, which becomes available on November 21. Mine will ship on that day and I should have it either the 22nd or 23rd.

When you consider this little gadget is about the size of a Readers Digest magazine and will hold 3,000 books, it's mind boggling. If I brought another 3,000 actual books into this home I would have to build a room addition on to have room for that many books. To even consider that kind of technology makes me dizzy, but I have decided to see how much I can accept this kind of change and see if I can adapt to reading off of a Kindle instead of out of a book.

I even have enough money left on my certificate that I can load up at least 7 to 10 more books, depending on prices. With winter coming on and me having much more time at home now, I have a feeling my new Kindle Touch will be arriving at just the right time.

I guess we'll see if this old dog can indeed be taught a few new tricks.

I have a feeling he just might be ready for a few!

Changes Underway

As I now move on in this new phase in my life called "retirement," I have vowed to myself not to make many of the same mistakes in my life that have haunted me in the past.

I don't see that as being a problem since each time I make one of those old mistakes the end result is always the same.

So far, six weeks into retirement, all I can say is that I love this new chapter in my life and all that it has given me thus far.

With all my new duties here at home, I have now found time and energy to do so many of the things I didn't have time or energy to enjoy before. That, in itself, makes this new life worthwhile.

Not Quite Hidden But Yet

Something interesting exists within this post, quite small, yet if looking one can easily find it. Have you figured it out?

The Doors - Summer's Almost Gone

This song comes to mind every year at this time. Sounds a bit melancholy, but personally, I love the fall of year, and I listen to this song, not as a regretful tune, but a welcoming tune to my most favorite season of the year.

The Search Continues

A certain sadness lies within me as I search to find within me that one great poem, that one great story, that one great piece of writing that will release me from the shackles that imprison me as a writer.

Silent Shroud

Moments forgotten
Words unspoken
the
Majestic wizard
Casts the spell
Bringing the harpie
To her knees
and
With one wide and silent
Swoop of the emotional
Sword
Disembowels
the
Remnants of a tattered
Soul.

Band

The choir director's silver baton
High stuffed hat
Droplets of spittle
Flying from the puckered lips
Arms beating drums in three quarter time
The sweet high pitched tones
Created by the vibrating reeds
In glorious
Unison
With
Marching feet.

Stout appreciates his years of service, friends

Stout appreciates his years of service, friends

Direction

Sometimes during the trials of life
You work at something
Only to discover
You are working
Alone.
T'is best to move on
Stand alone
And direct your
Energy
Into new directions
Which in reality
Are the old ones.
Moving forward
Is actually moving backward
To those things that are stable.

White Rose

He wanted so much to just let her know
How she had taken such a place in his heart
He needed a token to show her that love
Yet he hadn't figured out how to start.

His letters told her of the love that he had
And the depth of the love that he felt.
Yet he needed to show her in a small special way
How deep within his heart she now dwelt.

Through her words he discovered the things that she loved
And carefully he searched and he chose
To send her a gift that she held close to her heart
And that gift was a single white rose.

The day it arrived she knew in her heart
That the love that he felt was so true
That she let herself feel for the first time in years
Deepening love for the man she barely knew.

Though the promises they made to each other weren't kept
Their love for each other stayed strong
Across all the miles that divided the two
Their love was forever lifelong.

And years down the road as time fleeted by
And their separate lives went on by
The man who was older than the woman by ten years
Eventually lay down to die.

At the graveyard the day the man was laid to his rest
A gift was found lying on his coffin which shows
That an undying love is a true special thing,
On his coffin lay a single white rose.

Autumn 2011

This year as my favorite season enters the end of its first third, I am amazed at how different I view it as I don't have to return to work after a two week vacation like I normally do.

This year, I continue to have no schedule and am able to enjoy more of the autumn cooler temperatures and fall colors. This year I feel more alive than I normally do, and that's just the beginning, hopefully.

Bloodwork this past week revealed that my blood sugar is in the danger catergory, signaling that I could be possibly becoming diabetic. So, for the past several days I have carefully watched my sugar intake, cut back on calories and exercised. I prepare now for additional bloodwork this Tuesday morning. If the the blood sugar is down, things are good. If the blood sugar remains elevated, I've been warned oral insulin is a real possibility.

I remain hopeful that things will be much better for me when I get the results of my bloodwork this week. Hopefully my life can resume, with a new awareness about what I can allow myself to eat and drink regularly.

Time will tell.

Afterworld

A lead bullet
Three buckeyes
Nail clippers
Car keys
Red bandana handkerchief
Assorted change
Broken mirrored brush
Balls of lint
A leather wallet.
All that was left
Was in the dead man's pockets,.
His life picked clean
His identity
Anonymous
The love in his heart
Emptied
Along with his blood.
Glasses at his side
Body left abandoned
As the spirit
Whisked away
On the currents of the
Wind.

Handing Over The Reins

Another task that I undertook on September 30th was handing the reins and tasks of my job over to three of my co-workers, Larry, Jane and Brittney. The picture of us together is kind of heartwarming to me because it shows me with a great group of clerks who will be taking over for me, as I will probably be the last full time window clerk our office ever has.

I like the picture of me standing there alone, simply because it was indeed the LAST time I stood at the service counter. This was my work station full time since 1984, and I had stood there off and on since 1979 while I was part time.

I have made so many friends at this counter over all those decades and some of them have become very close and personal friends as well. My emotions on leaving have been tumultous, but I leave the job with my head held high, always striving to give the best of myself to each person that came into the office.

This job has been my life for over half my life and I leave it smiling, knowing I did the best I could do most days.

September 30th, October 1, 2011

Two recent, very emotional days for me, as I worked my last day at the Rushville Post Office and my co-workers celebrated with me as I received my retirement certificate and was presented with a very nice gift of a gift certificate to Amazon.com that my co-workers chipped in and got for me. Hard as I tried, I couldn't keep my emotions in check as I tried to make a short speech about my years at the post office.

In essence, the average span of days a human being spends on this earth number approximately 22,000. My career at the post office spanned a total of 11,954 days. Hard to imagine, but over half my life was spent in this position of employment. Clocking out that day brought on more emotions as I realized I had done my last work for United States Postal Service, over a span of years I am so proud to have served.

On the next night, over 80 people came to a surprise retirement party my wonderful sister and her husband threw for me. More gifts, cards and just general good fellowship greeted me this evening. I was more than blessed with this party and this turnout, I was truly humbled.

What more can I say about these two days?

Mere words are not enough.

I hope these four pictures, two from each day, speak for themselves.

George Burns - I Wish I Was Eighteen Again

There's so much truth in the lyrics to this song, not to mention a really good performance by George himself.

喜多郎 Kitaro - Koi from Best Of Kitaro DVD 2001

Be sure to turn off the jukebox on the right and listen to this wondrous music. Kitaro will be remembered centuries from now as a total musical genius.

Justice?

Guilty as charged
Tried without a jury
Found guilty
And sentenced
Without so much as
A word of defense.
Judgement decided,
Banished and branded
No questions
Guilty by interpretation
Of the judge.

Fair enough!

It's A New Dawn

The sun rose again this morning,
Casting shadows
But leaving no doubts behind
As the morning dew began its process
Of drying out,
A rooster crowed off in the distance
Signaling the start
Of a new day
A new dawn
And promises
Of less complications
Ahead.

Charlie Stout calls it a day

Charlie Stout calls it a day

One Final Day

I waited on my final customer today at the Rushville Post Office. Right at 4PM on the dot, a nice young lady handed me two letters, asked me two questions and then asked if this was my last day at work.

I told her it was my last day on the window and she would no doubt be my last customer, EVER!

And she was.

Now, tomorrow lies ahead, my final cash audit, turning in my keys, my government ID and then a little fellowship with my fellow workers.

I'm still in a bit of disbelief that it's all over in less than 24 hours from now.

I'm elated, morose, happy, sad, excited and worried.

All at the same time.

Somebody pinch me, I don't think this is really happening to me!~

The Gathered

the quiet night
awakened by the scream
of the unknown,
grew darker
to hide the secrets
that lay beyond sight
and gathered the gloom
to surround itself
as the journey into Oblivion
began.

The Angel Song -- SRC Milestones

This song was amazing at its time and still, all these years later, it still invokes amazing feelings in my heart as I listen to it. SRC was a band ahead of their time.

The Countdown Is On!

A new career starts for me in just 18 days.

I'm retiring from my career with the U S Postal Service that began way back in 1979.

On September 30th, 2011, that will all come to an end as I clock in and out at the Rushville Post Office for the very last time. I plan to write more on my 32 plus years at the Post Office at another time.

Today, I'm writing about my career change.

On October 1st I will begin my new career as a househusband. While to some that may sound funny, it's actually something I am looking forward to with great anticipation.

It will be a complete change of pace for me, and it will begin a phase of my life in which I start paying my wife of over 33 years back. For all the years we have been married, she has been chief cook and bottle washer. She's taken care of all the meals, all the cooking and cleaning, and the laundry.

On October 1st, I plan on taking as much of that off her as I can.

It will give me a chance to renew my culinary skills, which, frankly, I haven't used much for a long, long time. I'm looking forward to setting back to work creating meals and taking care of our home while Peggy continues to go work for a few more years.

I've got a lot to learn about managing my time here at home, and making sure things are done and done on a regular schedule. I'm looking forward to putting the meals on the table and taking as much of the household load off her as I can.

I also plan on working out regularly and committing to losing weight and getting myself into much better shape physically.

While they may sound dull to many, to me, it sounds like the greatest challenge I can undertake right now, and I can't wait for this new phase in my life to begin.

Eighteen days and counting.

Steppenwolf - Snowblind Friend

Hoyt Axton wrote two songs that Steppenwolf recorded. The Pusher was the first.

Snowblind Friend was the second.

This is a video Steppenwolf recorded in the studio when they recorded Snowblind Friend. Such amazing lyrics and a truly stellar and kozmic performance of this truly terrific song. Hope you enjoy it!

And as always, before you play it, don't forget to turn off the jukebox on the right side of the page, otherwise you'll be listening to two songs.

Faze Nine

An unknown face
Staring back at me
From this window where
I used to see myself
Staring back at me.
Clouds of darkness
Taking my memories,
Just out of my reach,
Not quite able to grasp
Or remember.
Vertigo, sweet, sweet
Vertigo
My constant companion now,
Staying with me
And never releasing her hold.
Who is this stranger
In the window,
And why is he staring at me
With confusion upon his face?

Louder Than Words

Silence speaks so loudly,
It's as if a cannon is going off
And I'm the only one who hears it,
But understands the pain
That same soundless shot produces,
And reminds me
That once again
Silence is a reminder
Of what once was
Can never be
Again.

Silence
Deafening silence.

WHY?

Sometimes things happen that you simply can't understand the reason why.

Sometimes it's hard to understand why things are allowed to happen that hurt so many.

Sometimes it's hard to remember that we aren't supposed to question why things happen like they do.

Right now, I'm having trouble with all of this, and I can simply just think of one word, over and over again, that word echoing over and over again in my mind...

WHY?